the days and the girls


She always beats me to it.  When Heather swung through my front door this time, we hugged without apologies.  "This time," she said, "I can really hug you."  My breasts weren’t in pain but my shoulders were.  Sunburn.  When I was younger, I thought, "Cool.  It will turn to tan.  At least I have color."  Now I think, "Shit, I’m going to get skin cancer and will miss their weddings."  A sunburn is just irresponsible and neglectful. Still, I was happy to see my friend and didn’t mind the painful embrace. 

After some baby time (she is such a natural with babies), we headed off to pick up her baby sister (one of many).  I was very excited to meet a mini-Heather.  While waiting for her in my car, I realized I was quite a mother.  "Dear Lord," I said while pulling at the tag beneath my chin, "I’ve got my shirt on backwards.  I’m such a mess."  Heather giggled.  "I mean could I be any more cliche?"  Then in her adorable sister swooped, as I apologized for making her hurdle and then sandwich between two car seat bases.  We were off. 

"Did you know 7-11 now has sugar-free slurpees?  And that you have to pound them down to really get your moneys worth?"  I did not.  I had things to learn from these sisters.  Over Asian-inspired morsels, I realized they’re both terrific storytellers and light up when they talk of their father and his threatening cane.  Of their mother.  Of their finances, even.  They both glow and are such delights to be around, the kind of people who make life seem lighter.  It’s funny, though, because Heather has always struck me as younger sister type.  I could never imagine silly fun Heather as someone’s older, responsible, sister.  She’s too much of a carefree spirit to be "older" than anyone. And her laugh, there’s nothing older about it.  It’s mischievous, the way usually only younger sisters can be, out of necessity.

We headed into Neiman Marcus, where I insisted, "Can we please, just for a brief moment, visit my former life?"  They obliged, and we stood, motionless, in front of the Gucci bag salon.  "You have different priorities now," Heather reminded me as I stared down the newest tassel hobo.  I’m sure I sighed.  Then we made a run in search of baby clothes, mini Cole Haan loafers, and Lilly Pulitzer baby swimsuits. Heather was wearing a gathered skirt and looked quite chic.  "I miss wearing skirts," I said in a groan.  "I remember those days.  I can’t wear them anymore, not yet."
"Why, chaffing?"
"Yeah, the chubb rub."
"Baby powder goes a long way," she said.
"Don’t I know it.  Honey I live at that address."
"It’s like the calls are coming from inside the house!"

All in all, a beautiful breezy day with stories, laughter, and a bit of spit up.  I hope to be seeing more of them, both the days and the girls.


  1. Oh, this is the life I have always wanted to lead! That sounds like such a wonderful day. Aren't good friends the best? Thank you for sharing a fun story… just thinking about sharing days like that with my best friend puts me in a better mood. I hope you see lots more of those days too!

  2. Haha. Funny about the shirt being on backwards. I did that once. It was backwards AND inside out. Talk about not altogether there. My kid's teachers stopped me when I dropped him off and told me. I almost went to work like that.
    Good to know you're getting out and spending time with your friends. Looked at Heather's blog. Sweet pic of Lucas.
    I love his little expression.

  3. You're right, Heather is an awesome writer, I stalk her site for posts every day! And she introduced her fans to you today… another great one to add to my list of faves. Your bio inspires me to run flailing from my desk job, take pictures and write more. – Jasmine

  4. Wow – what a small world… I read This Fish this morning and then Greek this afternoon and right away I knew you guys were talking about each other – though I don't know either of you, your blogs are fantastic!! Always such brilliant writing…

  5. beautiful blog, came here via Fish's blog. Have been reading your blog for last 4-5 hrs!!!
    u r now added to my favs.

    u r a terrific writer and ur kids are soooooo cute :)…congratulations.

  6. And I thought "chubb rub" was something only my friends and I knew about. Maybe its a Long Island thing.
    ugh, how I hate the chubb rub.

  7. I'm glad to hear that you are getting out and enjoying a little non-baby time. Just like many of the other new post baby decisions you have to make, making the decision to actually get dressed and get out of the house is a good, refreshing sign that you are on your way to surfacing from the all-consuming, intense "new baby days."

  8. I'm so glad to see that you still love your girls days as much as you love your family time. I LOVE my girls days and my eyes fill with tears thinking about the very limited time we have left as we are all going/have gone on our own post-college paths! Thanks for reminding me that you really can have it all- the man, the babies, and the girls!!!

  9. Baby powder goes a long way … Amen to that .. as one who has long suffered from the chubb rub, I live by baby powder – I am afraid Mr. Farmer will wonder why we still buy it after we don't have babies to go with the powder!

  10. Gosh I want a friend in the worst way. Moved here a year ago and have not met anyone as crazy as me! :) If anyone is slightly odd and lives near Charlotte, drop me a line! lol

    Glad you had a carefree day Steph! You deserve it.

  11. Wow- it's so funny that you are friends with This Fish now. I started reading your blog- along with Benjamin Wagner's- after This Fish's article appeared in the New York Times. Are you still in contact with Benjamin Wagner? How did you go from sharing a boy to being friends?

  12. I'm with Janine…could you refresh us on how you and Heather met and how that friendship evolved? Were you both dating the same man or something like that…it's hard to remember back to that, despite being a regular reader. Thanks.

  13. Listen, I work in an un-airconditioned school and powder does not cut it for the chub rub (not just a long island thing). Run, don't walk to a drugstore to buy Monostat's Chafing Relief Gel – clear, odorless gel that feels like a combo between powder and silicone and lasts much longer than powder. It's a beautiful thing.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.