the hate diet

March 29, 2007

excerpts

It’s the title of one of the chapters in my new book MOOSE.  The Hate Diet.  It’s not about hating diets; it’s about a diet that worked because I hated.  Hate, not love, motivated me to lose weight.  In spite of someone.  Ever motivated by the deliciously dark side?

I wanted to lose weight to spite them.  An “I’ll show you,” and the more I hated them, the more they strengthened my resolve.  I wasn’t motivated by positive images of people who’d successfully lost weight as much as by the people to which I wanted to prove something.  Take that, you goddamn chowder-house. I’m thin.   I suppose it’s along the same lines as "the best revenge is being deliriously happy."  My best revenge was being thin.  Because you can’t really see happy; people can fake that.  You can’t fake thin.

30 Responses to “the hate diet”

  1. Emily Says:

    I hear that. And I've done it a million times. Seeing the reaction to the low-rise jeans is worth every ounce of misery.

    Reply

  2. Yasmin Says:

    Can't wait to read Moose! Not to add to the pressure, but do you have an estimated time when it will be on shelves?

    FROM STEPHANIE: Sorry, but I'm pushing it out to 2008. Thanks for that are due to the beans. I'll try to drip-feed small excerpts from time to time, though.

    Reply

  3. Eileen Says:

    It worked for you!

    Reply

  4. Erin Says:

    I've found hate and spite to be amazing motivational tools.

    Hey, whatever works right!?

    Reply

  5. Stepheney Says:

    The smallest I ever was came about due to my deeply broken heart and my desperate desire to make my ex who cheated on me regret his decision. I lost weight, got tone, and his new GF cheated on him. All in all, it was a great end result.

    Reply

  6. Julie Says:

    Yep, been there.
    I was fat from age 11-15. It was horrible and caused me to sink into a deep depression when I was 12.
    The summer I turned 15 I finally said fuck you to everyone and showed them I could be thin too. I went back to school that next year and no one recognized me. Guys who once picked on me now were asking me out.
    I snubbed them all and it was wonderful.
    Of course as you get older you see there is so much more to life than your weight but for that moment, oh man, it was glorious.

    Reply

  7. shelley Says:

    totally been there before… I called mine the "break-up-with-boyfriend-diet"…

    Reply

  8. Amy LI Says:

    Oh lordy…this is the story of my life!

    Reply

  9. Katherine Says:

    This has worked for me, not for dieting per se, but for sticking to many new plans and resolutions. But then I´ve always been almost predictably stubborn: I´m motivated by the idea of proving people wrong, not letting them pigeonhole me, and, essentially, therefore not pigeonholing myself. Reverse psychology never works on me though, because it´s too obvious.

    Reply

  10. Meryl Says:

    "You think I can`t do something?!? Here you go! I did it!"

    I do it and it works! I`m also aries so doing something despite comes pretty naturally sometimes
    I think hate helps more than all that positive stuff because hate is so much stronger feeling…

    Reply

  11. Lori Says:

    I am guilty of the post-break-up induced dieting. But ya know what, damn it felt good for him to want me back, think I was hot, and for me to say, NEVER AGAIN. Not hate, but maybe spite and revenge; anyways they all fall into the same category.

    Reply

  12. Stacy Says:

    I've done it more times than I can count. Once to enough of an extreme that I become the focus of a most unwanted "intervention". Its the most successful diet on the planet.

    Reply

  13. Nikkie Says:

    Best line, "You can't fake thin."

    And you're right, you can't, not even with the best pair of Spanx.

    Reply

  14. Colleen Says:

    I love proving people wrong WHILE being happy. It's not hard to disguise spite with a huge grin while you are sporting a to-die-for ass. Best part, keeping the spite-driven-prove-everyone-wrong 'thing' a secret and just acting like it twas no trouble at all. Not one little bit. Like you yourself are just as surprised by the 30 pounds (great hair, great teeth, line-free eyes, awesome clothes, honkin' big diamand…whatever), you just seem to naturally flaunt. Yup… no trouble at all. :)

    Reply

  15. Ramona Says:

    This is how I quit smoking….over 1 year ago. I was told I coldn't do it and that's what me say you want to make a F***ing bet and I did.

    Reply

  16. Julie Says:

    See, I think there is a distinct difference between the breakup diet and the hate diet. The hate diet is driven by envy, jealousy, spite.

    Breakup diet for me is depression and not being able to eat.

    Too bad there isnt a sleep diet.

    FROM STEPHANIE: Pretty sure I've done the sleep diet. As in, I'm fucking starving. I'll take a Unisom and sleep through it. Healthy, I know.

    Reply

  17. Amy_in_Pgh Says:

    Unlike some other commenters, I did a PRE-breakup "I hate you" diet. Which meant that I left thirty pounds lighter, and got back at all those comments about my looks from that hater. And I started dating immediately post-breakup, looking even better than before. Ahhh, sweet, sweet petty revenge!

    Reply

  18. Julie Says:

    Haha! I did that too. Went to bed at freakin 8:00 so I wouldnt eat. Also ate tons of bran muffins so I'd shit a lot too.

    Reply

  19. Deb Says:

    Love and hate motivates a lot of things within us. When I went through a rough break up with my ex-girlfriend, I wrote a book. It was only supposed to be a private journal on my word document, before I found out about blogging. (Thank God I didn’t), because I wouldn’t have published my book. But, at our lowest times, depression and other extreme emotions, we conquer a lot. We either get creative, or we make changes within ourselves.

    I can’t wait to read your new book. Good luck with it!

    Reply

  20. aminah Says:

    I should keep that in mind when I need motivation to drag myself of the sofa and head for the park for a run. I can lose weight if I stick to eating well and exercise but I always get demotivated midweek….and thats sooo depressing…

    Reply

  21. onlinedatingdiaries Says:

    To : Stepheney | Mar 29, 2007 1:40:14 PM

    I am totally with you. The thinnest I ever was came after I was dumped the day after my birthday when I found out he was cheating on me. Hate and heartbreak for me, equaled a 24 inch waist.

    Reply

  22. Rachel Says:

    Hi Stephanie, thanks for all your recent posts. The one about your dad was so touching and heartfelt. I can't seem to lose weight easily…I rocket back and forth 10-15 pounds all the time…sometimes really able to keep equilibrium, sometimes not. It's incredibly frustrating. I feel like I'm totally unworthy at +15 pounds, and just alright at -15 pounds.
    Looking forward to Moose in 2008 though!
    Rachel.

    Reply

  23. Janya Says:

    Well, duh, is there any other way to do it?!

    Mine was a big FU to the "friend" who politely offered me fat pills when I showed up on her door step one day. After rage-filled fits of crying, I knew it was time. So I just stood there smiling when, months later, she clamored over me when I had lost it all and then some. Fuck you for not valuing me before then. And fuck you for making an ass out of yourself when you thought I had "finally succeeded" at something.

    But I'm ok with it now. Really.

    Reply

  24. j Says:

    you remind me of myself with my twin obessions: weight loss and gourmet food. how do you reconcile the need to shed those pesky 15 lbs with the need to cook gorgeous food and buy more culinary toys and cookbooks? and what about the wine? all those calories, all that deliciousness… how is a foodie supposed to be rail thin? there is only a certain amount that excerise can accomplish. let me know if you come up with any brilliant plans. till then, i'll be off braising something and trying to get into my skinny jeans at the same time.

    Reply

  25. e Says:

    I think you might enjoy this silly book by anita liberty called "how to heal the hurt by hating." a friend found it for me to cheer me up after a breakup. definitely amusing

    Reply

  26. Serena Says:

    They don't call it the strongest emotion for nothing.

    Reply

  27. Amanda Says:

    I can't wait to read Moose. I am sure it will be brilliant and capture so many of the feelings I experienced as a
    165 lb. preteen.

    Reply

  28. liss Says:

    PLEASE POST YOUR SAME COMMENT IN "SUGGESTIONS". UNFORTUNATELY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POST. I WOULD HAVE EMAILED YOU BUT YOU GAVE A NONWORKING ADDRESS

    Reply

  29. Olga Says:

    hahaha, been-there-done-that! And got some hate-diet revenge WAY after too!

    First & WORST boyfriend was SO obsessed with (me) looking good, he wouldn't go out the door if I was dressed in something he didn't like.
    10 years down the line, us being in our 30's (and me being a fitnessinstructor on the side) we met again 8 months back at a wedding of a mutual friend.
    My friend overheard HIS new girlfriend telling HER friend she thought I was 25, tops, not 32. MY friend then made sure to The Ex that comment….Wooo woooo…..Best Friend EVER!

    Muhahahahahaha

    Reply

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