his

In ALL, KNOCKED UP by Stephanie Klein53 Comments

All I want to do is sing Annie songs and play Barbie.  This means I’m going to have two boys.  Brothers.  Instead of feather boas and nail polish, there will be dump trucks and Spiderman.  Who came up with this name?  Dump trucks.  I know they dump dirt and gravel and other manly outdoor things.  But they had to put "dump" in the name?  This will take some getting used to. Yesterday I received an email containing a photo of a redheaded boy with a frog in his mouth.  The next photo: three boys peeing in garden pots.  Boys are rambunxious.  You take them outside, a simple walk to the car, and they don’t just walk.  They dig up rocks or find sticks and decide to throw them.  They’re happiest destroying things.  How do "balanced" Libra mothers have sons?

No.  We don’t know if they will be boys or girls.  Last time we saw the gupps, we insisted we didn’t want to know the sex(es).  “But, if we did want to know,” Phil started in with the technician, “can you tell?”
“Oh, I can tell,” she said.  Okay.  No more questions!  But her whole, “Oh, I can tell,” sounded like they were well-hung boys.  Dear lord.  Shut up.  No more questions!  “May I ask,” he continued, “can you tell if they’re identical or fraternal.”  This was the evil question.

Because she wasn’t thinking, she took a moment, and responded, “We won’t be able to tell until they’re born.”  This killed me.  If she’d seen a boy and girl in there, she would have replied, “Fraternal.”  But given that she must have seen two of the same sex, she said that she couldn’t tell if they were identical.  This meant I would not be having one of each, which kind of made my whole body sigh.  I’m assuming they’re fraternal.  It’s just much more likely.  I have two placentas, one lower right, one top left.  They’re taking over the place. 

Throughout the rest of our exam, both she and the doctor (who came in later) used the “his” pronoun.  “See his hand there?”  Doh!  I will of course be happy with two healthy babies, especially with all I’ve heard about everything that can go wrong.  I also HAVE to say that.  Intellectually, of course I’ll be happy, tears of joy, oh my God, happy.  In the moment, once they come, I really won’t care.  But in that moment, I was a tad bit disappointed when I learned I wouldn’t have anyone with which to play Barbie.  I want to braid hair and play dress up and to have beauty parlor night, the way I had with my mother and sister, all of us in our towels, snuggling with foot massages.  I’m such a girl.  I’ll so end up having two boys.  And they can sense it when you’re disappointed.  That’s what the crap books say.  In the moment, when they’re born, hopefully healthy, disappointment isn’t an emotion I imagine I could ever feel.  But I’m not delivering for a few months.  And dammit, feelings don’t know right from wrong. 

A friend of mine just gave birth to a girl, and she, too, didn’t want to know the sex beforehand.  She swore the doctors used “his” all the time.  So who knows.  We don’t.  We just assume we’re not having one of each, thanks to all of his probing questions in the “we don’t want to know, but we want to think we know” game.  So what are the advantages to having two boys?  I guess boys don’t grow up hating their mothers, well at least not for the same reasons girls do.  What’s the advantage for a girly girl in having two more "his" around?  And if anyone tries the whole, "why are you looking for advantages?  Don’t you know how lucky you are?  It’s not about YOU!?"  I say, go play in another playground. None of this is rational.  And of course! I’ll be happy.  I’m just being honest.

Comments

  1. Stephanie- it's still very possible the guppies are fraternal. If the doctor had given a definite yes to that question, it would have given away that one was a boy and one was a girl, no? Regardless, I understand how you're feeling. I have some family friends who had four (four!) boys, each a few years apart. I get the feeling they had hoped for a girl at some point. Also, as a medical student, I've helped deliver many babies where the parents already have two or three of the same gender at home. You get the feeling they were trying for one of the opposite sex. I'll never forget the time a woman delivered her fourth girl, and one of the first things her husband said afterward was, "We can try again in a few months!" The mother, exhausted, was incredulous. And I couldn't help but feel bad for baby girl #4. It wasn't her fault she was born the fairer sex. ;)
    Here's hoping for a smooth rest of your pregnancy. Congrats to the two of you!

  2. If you have two boys instead of two girls…look at it this way. You don't have to pay for two weddings! I admire you and the suitor for not finding out the sex. I would just have to know.

  3. I understand this. I am truly, truly of the mindset that when and if I get pregnant I will be happy to be blessed with a child, regardless of sex or anything else. I think most of us do, though, have an idea of wanting a boy or a girl. I have always thought I'd rather have a girl, and it feels so wrong to say that, like if I had a boy it'd mean that I somehow didn't want him, or didn't love him as much as I would a girl. Which of course is preposterous.

    I keep my brother's 7 month old son every day and I have to say, a little boy is amazing. I could not love him more, and I know when he grows older and starts doing little boy things, I will love all that too. Don't get too caught up in ideas of gender roles, either. Boys don't inherently desire to play with dump trucks. Keep your mind open, and you might be surprised. You also might be surprised in the delivery room! You really never know 100% if they're boys or girls. However it works out, it will be fantastic.

  4. Advantage of having two boys? You won't have to pay for two weddings! Little boys love their mothers. There is quite a unique bond between a mother and a son. I too wanted a girl, but had a boy. I can remember feeling the same way you do now, so you are not alone. Just wait though, those feelings will fade. I promise….

  5. No judgment here. This is a very honest post, and it reflects what so many mothers-to-be feel. I've dreamed of having a daughter, too, but I've told myself if I have a boy I can raise him to be a gentleman, raise him to be the kind of man I would love to marry. That sounds weird, but you know what I mean. A man who knows how to treat a woman. (Or a man, I guess–you never know.) You'll always have help around the house (maybe even in the kitchen–mini sous chefs?), and boys are protective of their mothers. I think mothers and sons can have a special bond, just like fathers and daughters can. If you're having boys, remember you'll be their first love. Sweet.

  6. When I was pregnant with my oldest child, we didn't find out the sex of the baby, but I thought, "if I have a boy, how will I ever relate to him? Well, as soon as my son was born, I immediately fell in love w/ him. When the nurses took me into my hospital room, the mom in the next bed asked me what I had, I said, "a boy, how about you?" She said, "a girl", and I swear to you, I remember thinking "she must be so jealous of me". No one could have felt more happy than I was. I even surprised myself. My 2nd child was another boy, and I wasn't at all disappointed (which I did worry about). I loved him just as much, and was thrilled to have 2 healthy kids. A couple of yrs later we found out that I was pregnant again. We just assumed we'd have another boy. The worst part was the obnoxious comments I got from complete strangers – "you must be praying for a girl this time". No, I was praying for a healthy baby, thank you very much. They even had the nerve to say these things in front of my boys, as if boys are so much worse than girls. Well, as it turned out, our third baby was a girl. Of course, I referred to her as "him" for the first few months until I got used to the idea that I actually had a girl. The fun part is that she's part girly girl and part tom boy. She changes her clothes and hairstyle a minimum of 5 times a day (she's 8). Then she'll be outside playing basketball. I'll tell you one thing though; boys may be more active and get into things, but I think they're easier than girls. My daughter happens to be very sweet and sensitive. She's like a little mommy, but so many of the girls in her grade are already incredible mean and hurtful. They can be evil. Everything is a drama. I can't even imagine what they'll be like as teenagers. Bottom line, no matter what your babies are, they are a part of you and Phil, and you will love them. Everyone goes through the feelings you have now. It's normal. Also, not everyone falls in love w/ their babies right away, but give yourself a break and just let things happen. You'll be ok.

  7. One more thing. Our family has a Bat Mitzvah coming up next month. My husband is taking our boys suit shopping today, and I'm taking my daughter dress shopping. Who do you think has the harder job? I win, hands down! I need a nap just thinking about it. Oy. (BTW, I'm a Libra mother – maybe not so balanced anymore, though!)

  8. it wouldn't be normal if you didn't feel this way. i think you can attest to the fact that boys love their mamas…no matter what. i thought this was one of your best posts. honest indeed in true stephanie style.

  9. I was 100%, completely, without question "sure" (we didn't actually find out) we were having a boy. I called him "dude" in utero, referred to him as "he", etc.

    And then? In the delivery room? When they said "You have a daughter"? Oh my fucking god. I couldn't believe it.

  10. I've heard from tons of people that it's 'easier' to raise boys than girls. And I agree that they could still be one of each. They're probably really good and used to keeping the sex of the babies a secret. I don't think they'd slip.

  11. Stephanie, Just tell us already — you took some sort of fertility medication. Gave yourself shots of something, right? I mean, you had such hard time getting pregnant and now you're having twins…hmmmmmm…..

  12. Just think- if you have boys you can help them to be the kind of men that are sensitive- the kind that make wonderful friends, husbands, and boyfriends.

  13. When my sister was pregnant with her daughter (which at the time she didn't know was a girl) she told me once, "I don't want to have a girl. You have to worry about them getting pregnant…" I was shocked. Who says things like this?

    She quickly covered her mouth and gasped, "I shouldn't have said that. OF course, I would be happy with a daughter too, but a boy would be easier."

    I pointed out, "Yeah, but with a boy, you have to worry about them getting a girl pregnant, and not telling you."

    She thought twice about mentioning what sex she would prefer from then on!

  14. The doctor always says HE, HIS when referring to a baby. It's just common.

    I had a boy first, and I have to admit, I did feel a little sad, but then I had my baby, so it didn't matter. I had also had a c-section where I felt I was dying on the table, and when he was yanked out and they said, "He's here. It's a boy." I felt I could die now knowing he was out and safe and healthy. I had my baby.

    When my daughter was born next, she came after two hours of pushing (which doesn't seem like that long, but IT IS!), plus I feared I would have another C. When she came out, she was all swollen down there, so I thought it was a set of yaknows. And I realized I didn't care that it was another boy. I was just thrilled my first son would have a brother to love.

    But then…. they informed me she was a girl. I completely lost it.

    And here's the other thing. I had my boy, I had my girl. Yet my family wasn't complete, and it didn't matter, truly didn't matter what we had next. I just knew I wanted another.

    Stephanie, if you have two babies of the same sex, it doesn't matter. And who's to say this is your last pregnancy anyway?

    How much longer do you have to go? Keep resting!

  15. Stephanie, boys aren't too bad! :-) I've got two – 15 months apart so not quite twins but… I was initially bummed when I learned that I wasn't having a girl each time. I always figured one of each and now, honestly with the boys at 9 and almost 8 — I can not imagine having girls. It'll be alright either way and you know that.

  16. I'm also a "balanced" Libra mom with 3 boys and I am an identical twin, too, and it's all good. I also live in Austin – so welcome! I thought I wanted a girl so much it hurt – but now I actually see the divine intervention clearly and my 3 boys are the coolest.

    You're going to have a great ride whatever you get – so get ready!

  17. Oh, and I forgot to say that boys are not all dirty and grubby and crazy obnoxious. They can (mine are) be more loving and thoughtful and caring toward their moms. My daughter already has PMS and she's 7. So, you might not always want what you wish for!

  18. I was so happy to have a boy first…followed by two little girls. I didn't know how to deal with boy things at first – but as mentioned above, it was love at first sight. Now my sweet, precious baby boy is 6'2 and calls me his 'little mother'.

    When I get home from work, and after we've finished dinner/dishes/homework, *he's* the one to make sure that the fireplace is on, my heating pad is warming up and that I have a nice cup of tea as we snuggle in together. I am proud to say that I'm raising a man who will do good in this world – he will know how to take care of those he loves in the most thoughtful ways.

  19. I am a Libra mom, and I absolutely love having a son! Boys adore their mothers, and besides, moms of boys seem to be way more laid back about things than moms of girls. They kind of have to be, I suppose. And yes, of course this is a huge generalization. But I can tell a difference in the parents of boys and the parents of girls…especially at birthday parties. Maybe it's because the moms of boys have given up on the idea of perfection and have instead resigned themselves to more of a messy life, both literally and figuratively.

  20. Oh yeah, and he totally watches Annie with me. And makes fun of me the entire time for singing at the top of my lungs.

  21. My cousin (more like a nephew since I am so close to my aunt) is this wonderful 4-year-old little boy. When he was first born, I wondered how in the hell I would relate to him, what I would do with him, what I would say. Yes, he loves his trains and Spiderman, but he is a little cuddle bunny and begs to make cookies, too. The hours where it is just the two of us are the best. Of course he isn't my kid, but every time I babysit him, I am assured that if I have a son one day, it will be a-ok.

  22. You could get girly boys, boys boys, girly girls or tomboys or a combo. You never know. It will be fun no matter what!

  23. What´s so different between boys and girls when they are little? You should´ve never met me when I was a little girl. :)I was beating up the boys, eating dirt…and defintely NOT playing with Barbies. You never can tell how a child develops no matter which sex he or she has.

  24. I have 2 of each, all of whom I love fiercely, but all of whom are entirely different. Having a girl doesn't automatically mean she will be girly and want to have her hair fixed, etc (have one who loves to wear dresses as she runs to kick the soccer ball), and just because you have boys, it isn't automatic that they are going to be rough and tumble. One of my sons is a very sensitive boy who, although he like sports, doesn't like to play rough. He is more of an academic baseball and chess playing boy who spends much his time looking at the stars. My other son is also smart, but VERY rough and tumble and would be that kid trying to stick the knife in the outlet to see what would happen.

    One thing they should have added to the bottom of that list of things you learn from having boys is that if you jump out of a tree with an umbrella, it DOESN'T work like a parachute… : ) Growing up with 2 brothers prepared me better for my own sons than I ever realized!

  25. Before I knew I was having a girl, I was obsessed with having a boy who was a clone of my husband. A little mini of my beloved hubby. Now I have a tomboy of a girl with his personality and its just as good (tho I do think that having a girl first made it easier for my husband to ease into fatherhood – the whole daddy/daughter thing.) Then I only wanted all girls thereafter until I held my nephew. So your feelings will change, but in the end, you'll be delighted cause they are yours!

  26. At my final sonogram all these many years ago, the tech referred to my baby as "him" and "he" and "oops'ed" both times, as ex-husband and I had said we didn't want to know the sex. However, after that sono, we assumed a son. We had a daughter.

    Try to leave the gender stereotypes at the hospital with the placentas. Barbies and stuffed animals love riding on dump trucks and bulldozers. Boys love to cook and girls find earthworms delightful. Both can be delightful and horrific, and if none of that convinces you, boys are cheaper to shop for. More $ for Mom!

  27. I dreamt that all of my sons were girls. I felt guilty that I was a little disappointed when I found out they were boys. Now when they lay their heads in my lap and tell me that when they get married they want to marry me or that they want to live with me and take care of me when they grow up my heart melts. At one time I wanted princesses. Now I have princes and they have made me their queen. I am truly blessed.

  28. I say two girls. I'm sticking with my story. They're ganging up on you to torment you already. And they will probaby hate Barbie and scream when you brush their hair :)

  29. I dreamt of princesses, and felt guilty when I had princes. THey lay their heads in my lap and declare that they will marry me or that when they are grown ups they will take care of me forever. I am a queen. I am blessed

  30. Stephanie, I thought the same thing…eleven years ago. Here is what I wrote my little boy a few months ago. Their hearts are just as tender, they need just as much love and attention, and they are not fickle. They love you with the purest heart possible. Enjoy!

    To Brady,
    How do I describe you in a way that doesn’t seem biased because you’re my own? You have become an incredibly honorable and kind-hearted little man. It was always there, but recently it is just shining from you. When you wanted to get out of the car yesterday to help the old lady….you didn’t know it, but I sat in the car and cried. Your sweet spirit moves me everyday. The way you walk in the door after school with that huge smile and drop your bookbag to come hug me, and usually have some little gift for me. A pebble or a wildflower…or some other shiny thing you found at school and put in your pocket for later. I keep every single one of those, you know? Just look in my nightstand drawer! I love the way you smell after school. A smell only a mom would understand. A perfect blend of all you did that day. Pencil shavings mixed with dirt from the playground, mixed with chocolate milk from lunch, mixed with Pine-sol from the hallways. To me it’s heaven. From the moment you were born, I knew you’d be the best thing that ever happened to me. I look back at our past almost eleven years…the Easter egg hunts, the lemonade stands, beach vacations, quiet moments cuddled and reading a book or playing games, bike rides, our funny adventures that only you and I would get a kick out of. It dawned on me not so long ago…I am lucky enough to be raising my best friend. Love, Mom

  31. Don't worry about it. The certainty doesn't necessarily mean "well hung boys." It could very well mean "no penis in sight."

    Plus, sonogram techs almost always assign male pronouns to the children when they can't disclose the sex. It's a bit more polite than saying 'that one over there.'

  32. Hmmm. Well, I have it from an inside source that if it's a girl, they don't usually claim to be "sure". I believe they'll say, "We think you're having a girl!" But those little weiners can hide. But if there IS a penis, then they can be really really sure. If she sounded sure? I'm putting my money on boys. (Really, though, the only way for them to be positively sure is from an amnio.)

    That said, baby boys are more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. They are really, really fun. You'll see! I didn't think I'd know what to do with a baby boy, never having been one myself, but man oh man. I wouldn't trade for the world.

  33. I remember wanting a girl very much before I got pregnant. We decided not to find out the baby's gender. When people asked me what I was having, I told them 'a human'. My baby was a boy and any feelings of hoping for a girl were instantly gone. The second time I got pregnant I wanted to know the sex so that if I had another boy there would be no sense of 'disappointment'. I had another son, of course. Never for a moment have I wished for anything but my two boys. They are now 9 and 13. One of the best things about having sons is that they have actually made me like men more.

  34. I had twins in july. I wanted a girl or a girl and a boy. I got two boys. Of course I love them dearly, but I was a bit sad as well when I knew I wouldn't be buying the frilly clothes and passing my barbies down as well. Now they are here I couldn't imagine it any other way and besides much easier to decorate the nursery and for them to share clothes. Mine are faternal.

  35. I am a complete girly girl and have two little boys. They are just as you described and so much more. Yes they are messy and rough but they are also sensitive and affectionate and sweet. At their young ages, I try not to inject too much gender bias in our activities and toys–we bake and play dress up. They both like to walk around in my heels. Until recently my four-year-old's favorite color was pink and when he went to his best friend Sophia's house to play he'd come home dressed as a princess and fall asleep with his head resting in tulle. My three-year-old son is getting a play kitchen (in blue) for Christmas, complete with pots and pans. He loves to play house. I know they'll grow out of this stage soon but I will always be the love of their lives and I take great pride in knowing I am raising two wonderful future husbands and fathers.

  36. I'm so glad you're not finding out the sex in advance (stop playing those question games though, it's obviously driving you nuts). My wife and I had twins and also chose to not find out the sexes before the birth. My wife convinced me not to find out, and I think it made the big moment so much more special (I hate that word, but I'm no writer). We were sure we were getting two boys because of all the bullshit people tell you about the way you're carrying etc. I honestly didn't care what we were having gender-wise. My wife said she wanted at least one girl though. If we got two boys, she would want to try again she said. I only wanted one child to begin with, so the thought of potentially raising three terrified me. In the end we had a boy and girl – both beauitful and healthy. Can't imagine a day without either of them.

  37. I heard the funniest story from my sister. Someone she knows went for an ultrasound with his wife and they were told they were having a boy. While mistakes happen, it's more rare for it to go that way. The couple had their mind so wrapped around having a boy that when she (yes, she) was born, the dad took one look and went "Oh my god, he doesn't have a penis!" To which the doctor replied, "yes, it's called a girl."

  38. My first, I found out by 3D sonagram, was a girl. I was delighted (more like relieved)because I wanted a girl so badly and couldn't even imagine myself with a boy. The second time I decided not to find out. I told others we weren't because 'it didn't matter'. Honestly, I just didn't want to know if I was having a boy. I don't like boy things, their body parts are hard to clean and I really didn't feel the need to have 'one of each'. Number 2 was a boy and I was so suprised. I didn't think my girly body could actually produce one of those. He was the MOST AMAZING baby. He loves me like
    i could have never imagined. Where I put my first down for nap for fear of her developing bad habits-I held him and fell asleep with him because I couldn't stand to put him down. It's like a bond I could have never conjured. He'll be 2 in February and i'm so glad He is a he and so glad it was a suprise.

  39. Welcome to my world! I had fraternal twin boys in 1995. Yes, they're rough n' tumble but they will never love anyone like their Mama.

    Plus…I must say, you really don't "know" for absolute sure. You could get surprised in the OR!

  40. I have two boys and I love being the only female. My boys think I hung the moon and want nothing more than to have my attention on them. I do have one that likes bugs and dirt but the youngest is a neat freak who loves to read and can't stand anything dirty. He helps me cook or we read together and have lots of fun. Also ,I don't know about you but I didn't do girly things with my mom, I wanted to be Daddy's girl all the time and spent most of my early childhood following him around.Boys are also much less expensive during the teenage years.

  41. I think it's a bit of a "pay now or pay later" kinda deal. I, Libra mom (9-27), have 3. I got what I wanted each time–girl, boy, girl.
    The girls were fun to dress until they were old enough to have an opinion of what they want to wear (like at about age 2) and then it was all over.

    Now we fight every morning about what's appropriate to wear to school…

    My son plays soccer like a pro and is into drama and musicals. Nothing makes me happier than to watch this kid perform his stuff. It's more about who he is as a person than if he's a boy or a girl. He's the hardest one to raise, again because of who he is (totally emotional and hot-headed) and not cause he's a boy. He's "all boy", but never destroyed anything.

    My 6 yr. old girl is as girly as they get. She's the terror of the family.

    Bottom line is the "what do I want" or "will I be disapointed" thoughts are only for the pregnant. Like everyone has said here, when the babies come, you'll be totally into them and have nary a care about what sex they are.

  42. Hello!
    A friend of mine, last 20th oct. had twins : one littlegirl and one littleboy, Francesca and Giacomo.

    un ciao from Italy

  43. I'm as girly as they come, so of course I had three boys. I never really had any preference as to their gender, even when number three was born. I was actually relieved that he WAS a boy. By then, boys I knew. Boys I could deal with.

    Let me tell you, (and as a teacher for many years I know of what I speak) – boys are a LOT easier in a myriad of ways.

    As an added benefit, I am truly the queen of my castle. Even the flipping dog is male. So on all things frou-frou, it's all about ME. Which is as it should be. Tongue planted firmly in cheek, of course. Well, mostly.

  44. We have a 2 yr old boy and just found out the little one inside is also a boy – I had to find out bc my husband was convinced this one was a girl, I figured I would be pissed when "she" came out a "he" so I wanted to be prepared. I am/was a little bummed about not having a little girl to spoil, dress up, put barettes in her hair, but you get what you get! And one more annoying thing is that everyone always says "you can try for a girl next time" That just irks me. You are saving the best surprise for when you find out the day they are born – you will be happy you didn't find out :)

  45. Stephanie-
    I am the mother of 3 boys. When we had our ultrasound for our last little guy the tech swore it was a girl and yet throughout the rest of the exam she referred to the baby as a he.

    For months I thought I was having a girl. My She was born a He. I really would have been OK with 3 boys had I never entertained the thought of a little girl to shop with.

    Alot of people asked us if we were having a third baby to have a baby or to have a girl and we could honestly answer, "To have a baby." Now if we decided to have a 4th baby it would only be to have a girl.

    It is sad that our emotions can betray us this way. I adore all of my little boys and wouldn't trade them for the world. But I am always going to grieve over the fact that I will never get to take my daughter shopping for her wedding dress.

    Also, google ultrasound and view a couple. You will see that it is just as easy to see girl parts (3 white lines) as it is that little turtle head.

    Peace

  46. Hi Stephanie,
    As always, honesty is your forte.

    My first pregnancy, as I was unmarried, was totally unplanned and I was scared. When I delivered my son, I didn't know what to do with him. Who was this little screaming hairless thing? I wondered "where is this love feeling?" I didn't have it until the 2nd or third day. Then it just enveloped me, overwhelming me with it's intensity.

    As a mother of 4 VERY different and wonderful boys, and one beautiful step-daughter that I inherited(thank God for her!! Even though she only visits twice a month), I live in a house filled with testosterone. And they couldn't be more different from each other. Except for sometimes leaving the toilet seat up, they are all pretty much their own person.

    My husband is very masculine in his own quiet, refined, and soft-spoken way. He's very polite and adoring. He has a habit of nicknaming everyone in the family, but I am simply "sweetheart", "baby", "honey", and "love of my life". He rarely uses my name anymore and I love it!

    My oldest son, Shea, is just as friendly and charismatic as they come – he's a salesman by trade and personality. He introduced me to what all-consuming, unconditional love really feels like.

    My second oldest, Michael, a senior now, has ADHD with a capitol H (for hyper). He reminds me of a loose ball in a pinball machine. Still at 17, he destroys just about everything he touches. But he has the biggest heart and is brilliant about all things computer and mechanical. He is also my greatest fan. He adores his mommy.

    My third son, Gabriel, is the sensitive one, easily hurt, and the hard-worker, aka: perfectionist (like his mom!!). He loves music, drama, art, and is the stand-up comedian of the family. He is taking Visual Arts at the career tech center and plays the guitar. He and I are connected in a slightly different way than the others. We understand each other.

    Katie, my step-daughter, is my best friend. She is the spoiled, get-everything-she-wants, girl of the family. We go to concerts and check out cute guys together. She's going to nursing school next year (Hmmm, wonder where she gets it from??). She'll be in her first year of nursing school, while I'll be in my second year!

    My youngest son, Zachary, is a physical carbon copy of his father, my wonderful husband, all legs and athletic coordination. But that's where the similarities end. Besides both loving baseball, they are not very much alike. Where my husband is shy, Zachary is the socialite of the family. Joining every activity from baseball to acting in the school play to soccer to cub scouts to whatever else he can join and be with people. The phone is ringing off the hook and the doorbell is buzzing when he is at home. He is also a brainiac. Straight A's in everything at school and when he gets a B, the paper goes in the trash – it's just not good enough for him!

    So, you never know what you will get! I imagine, girls are the same way. You can't really "raise" them to be the way you want them to be – regardless of what people tell you!! We have much less control over those things than most people think.

    In my opinion, more children have been damaged by parents trying to make them into who they "think" they should be then by supposed "abuse" from occasional spankings.

    They are yours for a short time, to teach them as best you can. But, in reality, they will become the people they are – no matter what you do or don't do. Keep them safe, keep them fed, keep them loved. Everything else is pretty much out of your hands!

    Go with it and enjoy every minute. It passes by SO FAST!

  47. This just came up in the This Day in Greek Tragedy sidebar – how sweet that all your worries and sighs were for nothing and you had fraternal twins all along :)

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