party in mom’s house

In ALL, KNOCKED UPby Stephanie Klein50 Comments

Closeup_1I threw up dinner, then calmed myself into a sleep by watching Miracle on 34th Street (the new one, though I like them both).  I love Christmas anything, anytime of year.  It comforts me, the songs and colors, the believing.  The spirit.  I didn’t stay asleep long.  I threw up again, then ate a plum, then the alarm clock sounded.  I’m running on fumes today.  Still, I made it to our "first screen test" on time.  I felt like ass and wanted to cry before we even walked in.  It’s just scary.  I can’t help it.  I’m nervous and protective, and I worry.

It was our first ultrasound that wasn’t intravaginal (I’m 13 weeks and 1 day along).  They greased up my belly with jelly, flipped off the lights, and began to roll across the small gourd that is now my stomach with a rolling paddle (that incidentally looks like something that should come with a Playdough set for making pizza pies).  The Suitor held my hand, and we watched.  First we only saw one baby, which always scares me because I think, "why aren’t they showing us the other one?" I wish they would show us both, then zoom in on one.  It was "baby B," and it was asleep.  "Why is this one always sleeping?" I asked the technician.

"I can wake it," she said.  "Come on, rise and shine."  She then pressed repeatedly on the gup, until it stirred a bit, then put it’s thumb into it’s mouth.  This is the lazy baby, or the "calm baby," definitely The Suitor’s child. 
"Are you sure it’s okay?"
"Yes, yes.  Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"  Wow.  The screen went dark, and the room flooded with the sound of our baby’s heart. 
"Wow, you can separate them like that?  Only listen to one?" The Suitor chimed in. 
Then we watched "baby A," my wild child, partying in mom’s house.  Kicking, waving, dancing, sucking it’s thumb.
"So you two are responsible for keeping me up all night, huh?" 

Zen Baby B
CloseupbabybThen they wiped me up, and I threw up Rice Krispies.  This is usually how my day goes anyway.  See, but last time  we went and saw the kids wave at us, it was exciting.  This time, it was scary.  I don’t know why.  I worry more now.  I want to make sure they’re both okay.  And the doctor was rolling over my ovaries with force. I wanted it to be over.  I was scared.  It’s all real now.  I want them to be healthy, to know.  I want the doctor to say "perfect," "normal," and "all good."  And they did, this time.  They measured the fluid behind their necks and pricked my finger.  We’ll know our percentage of having a child with down syndrome in a few days.  It’s just a percentage.  Nothing is for certain.  That’s what’s so hard about all this… for any of us, I guess.  There are no guarantees in life.  I’m giddy, but I’m also tired, worried, and shock of shocks, a bit emotional today.  I’m crawling back into bed and watching more Christmas movies.

Comments

  1. Aw, congrats on seeing your babes – it is the most wonderful sight! I just say mine on Monday morning, and could not believe it was in my stomach, so strange. I hope you feel better SOON! I have to get back to reading, your book…I am addicted!

  2. Despite your worries, I read this post with a smile on my face. Very exciting – lazy baby and wild baby. Can't wait to hear more about them. Keep watching the X-mas movies!

  3. And it's amazing – even now that they're teenagers, I still wait with that breathless, thrilled, nervous, scared, bated breath to tuck them each into bed each night.

    It is very scary to have children in this world – but also the most wonderful thing ever. I'm never more content than when we're all home from the day, I'm busy patting down the ruffled feathers, fluffing up the nest, making sure the chicks are clean and fed, and then cozying down with them for a safe night tucked under our strong roof – all the better to face tomorrow.

    Hope you feel better.

  4. Awww, how cute, you go & watch your Christmas movies, Thanks for keeping us updated with your appointment, its soo exciting & I'm thrilled for you!!

  5. So excited for you! My mom says I was the most energetic in the womb out of the three of us (two brothers and me). We've since decided I expended all my energy during the 10 months I was "cooking". My brothers, quiet in womb, athletes in life. Me, wild animal in womb, energy reservist in life. I think your two might surprise you when they make their debut. Congrats again!!

  6. Steph, I know it`s easier said than done and considering all that has been but try to relax and not worry. It will be okay. Don`t forget to post first baby pics on here :)

  7. One of my friends gave birth recently. During her pregnancy, she was told her baby had a hole in its heart and that the baby's arms were abnormally short. But those machines are not always accurate, and her baby was born fine.

    You're right–it's a percentage game . . . and no more accurate than weather percentages are.

  8. I do the same thing – watch Christmas movies to cheer me up. When things are really bad, I even listen to Christmas music, despite the time of year. I keep a CD of it in my car for emergencies. It works for me.

    Anyhow, after having read your posts lately about your pregnancy, I can't stop thinking of having kids of my own. I'm only 25, and know that I need to wait a bit, but you've given me the bug. For the first time in my life, and irrespective of your writing, I feel like I could handle it. I look forward to many updates from you. Feel better!!

    PS – Got your book yesterday. Can't wait to read it on vacation. :)

  9. I just spend the past month working my way through your blog from the beginning. Now I'm done reading it and I don't know what to do with my time! so it was great to open your site to find a new post, and I'm glad to hear that you and the babies are doing well, despite the bouts of sickness.

  10. Congratulations! Fear not your babies will be healthy . They look adorable and gave me such a warm and happy feeling…to see life at this stage is AMAZING!!! Thank you for sharing this moment in ur life and giving many of us the hope to reach that day!!! Have fun watching X-mas movies.. i also like christmas songs and listen to them all year it gives me the happy fuzzy feeling.

  11. For multiple personal reasons, I find this post a little sad. I, too, had an abortion once. I made a personal promise to myself that next time, I wouldn't throw away such a wonderful gift. You give me hope that one day I'll have babies of my own. But above all, I am very happy for you and am so happy that your babies are healthy. You and your little ones are in my prayers for a continued healthy and safe pregnancy.

  12. I want thicker nails, better legs, and a smaller ass.
    I want a royal packer, a live in hair stylist, and a wardrobe consultant.
    I want a mounted plasma television in my living room.
    I want stairs.
    To make more money, so I can marry whomever I want without having to worry if he’ll support me. To have a loving family of my own. To have babies and a husband I’ll always adore and explore passion with.

    Got Damn. Do you ever look at this list and just smile? You have everything, right down to the plasma tv,mounted even. And instead of being jealous, it makes me extremely hopeful…well maybe a little jealous ;-)
    Congrats and stop worrying! Have a virgin Mango Margarita, watch Elf, and just bask in….well,having it all.

  13. I'm reading your book. Right at Christian the Eurosexual and his – how'd you put it? – 'black mesh pouch'. I actually laughed out loud.

    From stories of waxing your nether regions to pictures of your uterus. I never thought I'd say this, but it's fantastic. Opening your blog upon returning from lunch, I nearly leapt out of my chair out of sheer excitement.

    Seeing it makes it so real. Thanks for letting us all in.

  14. Wow! I love that you have a little yin and yang in there. Are you going to find out the sex?

  15. Beautiful babies! Enjoy this most amazing time in your life. You have been given two most precious gifts. Pregnancy and motherhood.. the most amazing time in ones life. I have an 8 month old and my life has been forever blessed since I was pregnant. Prayers for continued health.

  16. didn't you just LOVE that vaginal ultrasound?! freaked me out the first time i saw it with child #2. they wanted to make sure it wasn't a tubial pregnancy, they did it at 5 weeks. i could see the heart beating! that was so wild!

    congrats on the babies!

  17. Congratulations on the twins! I had twins a year ago, and I remember the pregnancy stage. It was like triple the worry of a singleton pregnancy: worry for Baby A, worry for Baby B, and worry for Twins. Please feel free to email me if you ever want to talk about twin pregnancy or anything.

  18. This is so truly exciting. I want twins in the worst way… fraternals are not genetic and identicals are? What is the rule again? I want females as they run in the family and don't they skip a generation?
    also stephanie not sure if you got my email. Hope you did.

    Stay strong while the 'party' keeps rocking in momma's house.

  19. What cute little sonic images. So other than Mug, Keg or Pretzels, what names go well with "Beer"? You have quite a naming conundrum. Might I suggest naming patterns similar to yours: Stephanie Tara Klein. 3-2-1 syllable count and ending sounds of alternating vowel-consonant. That sort of pattern flows nicely and is easy to say. My first name ends with a vowel, and my last name starts with one. It doesn't flow. Same with consonants: Philip Beer. If you pronounce the name clearly and don't slur the final "p" and initial "b," there's a microsecond pause when speaking the name. And that ends today's episide of "Overthink Much?"

  20. God bless their cute little round beanie heads.

    I couldn't stop smiling the whole time I read this post and saying "AWWWW!", out loud. My son is like, "What?" I said, "Look. Stephanie's babies…" He rolled his eyes and made fun of me for reading a blog of someone I don't really know. Such is life!

    Congrats on the fab baby pics!

  21. That is so amazing! Distinct personalities already…

    Hope the throwing up subsides soon, though I am sure it's all worth it :)

  22. What sweet pictures! Congrats again to you 2!!
    Can I make a suggestion that you take pictures of your belly growth? What a neat thing to look back up! I didn't do it w/ my 1st pg but I did w/ my 2nd one!

  23. It will all be fine… I'm reading you from Italy. You're a luky girl. Be happy and positive!

  24. Congrats on the Babies!!! This is my first post but I’ve been reading your blog and I am almost done with your amazing book. You are going to have wonderful kids and you are a very talented individual who will have a lot to teach them…

    Wishing you all the best :)

  25. They so don't turn out in real life like they act in utero. That's the great thing about being a parent. So many surprises!

  26. What perfect pictures. So often all you see is a blur of grey and only the mom knows how to decipher it and then only because her doctor outlined it for her. They look absolutly perfect to me! Congratulations and try to rest easy. So many complete strangers have you and your babies in their thoughts and prayers every day. Hope that provides you with some comfort.

  27. I had my Sequential Screening and 3D sonogram done yesterday morning, and I'm also waiting for results. I'm 13 weeks and 4 days along. It's great to have all the science, but also stressful. I'm trying not to worry. After seeing my 3D pics, I'm also more protective. This is definitely real now! I hope the morning sickness ends real soon. It's supposed to get better in the second trimester and you're only a couple of days from that. Keep updating us on the babies! God bless them!

  28. My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and in the ultrasounds one was wild and one was calm. Friday they will turn 2 and still Natalie is a wild girl, and Anthony is a snuggly boy. Who knew the personalities kicked in even in the womb?! Good luck in your pregnancy, and try tea for the upset stomach! Don't worry!

  29. Wow. Two in one go! Congratulations and Good Luck!!

    For your nausea, would ginger tea help? I usually have ginger tea to stave off nausea (slices of ginger steeped in hot water), maybe it might work for you. Ginger ale and sugared ginger candy also work.

  30. Congrats Steph!!! I just got chills reading that! Did we expect any less than one wild child and one calm one??! I'm so happy to hear that all is well and they are both doing good (along with Mommy and Daddy!)

  31. I was Baby A and also the wild one. When we were born, the nurses called me the feisty one. Congrats!

  32. They are beautiful. So beautiful.
    I spent my entire last pregnancy certain that something was *wrong*, I was afraid the entire time. I was 35 and had suffered a miscarriage a month before (or whatever that math is) I got pregnant again. I was so certain that something would be wrong, that I worked myself into a tizzy – the whole 9 months!
    Why do you need to know this … I don’t know really, but I understand your fear and hope that you won’t let it bother you so much that you don’t relish in the joy of being pregnant – puking or not, it is wonderful.
    Bless you, the Suitor, baby A & baby B!

  33. Aw! Yay. That's so great. I feel like I'm going through the whole pregnancy with you and I'm sure most of the people here on the blog feel the same way. From the sympathy of having to throw up every other meal to the excitement of seeing the babies for the first time. It's just so exciting! You have to make sure and keep posting lots of pictures…especially when you get the big twin belly. <3

  34. I love Christmas too. The warmth of homecoming is so comforting. Harrods's x'mas department was opened a couple of days ago. X'mas arrived early in London this year.

  35. Lucky you! I always wanted twins. Maybe yours will be just like the Sweet Valley Twins. That would be so cool.

  36. I'm reading your book and finished the part about the abortion. I think that in some way, maybe that baby is back in your womb, along with its sibling. Isn't that a nice way to think of it.

    When I first heard that you aborted a baby you wanted, I thought, "How could she?" But reading your story, it seems like such a tragic decision you had to make, and you did the right thing, I think.

    So, maybe that first baby is really still with you now.

    Those are great pictures of your little ones.

  37. My husband and I looked at each other during an appointment and we decided to call the babies Apples for baby A and Bananas for baby B to ease some of my nervousness that accompanied every appointment. I would try to remind myself after throwing up in the middle of my front lawn that those high levels causing the vomiting were good ! It was good vomit! Tomorrow my twin boys get home from overnight camp and I can't wait to squeeze their little kishkas! Hearty congrats!

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.