i’m not your bitch, bitch

In ALL, LIFE OBSERVATIONS by Stephanie Klein37 Comments

This weather prohibits friendship.  It looks white out, from all the rain, bouncing back up, but people call it gray.  The sky is white, as are my lightweight cargo pants.  I’ve packed all wrong and have only included warm-weather-wear.  How can I go out in this?  I can sprint, small distances, that’s how.

I inched my way across the street and ducked into a coffee shop on the corner of 14th Street and Avenue of The Americas because alone in the dark of a friend’s apartment too long wasn’t working out.  Normally I’d dip into a theater and movie-hop for hours, or at least three back-to-back viewings of different films, but there’s absolutely nothing I want to see. 

So before winding up here, at a table inside, watching people roll up their pants and run for shelter from the rain, I sat on the bed and devoured the July issue of Food & Wine magazine.  A new friend of mine, K, gave it to me, with the tongue of a post-it tag attached to the article about Bravo’s show, Top Chef.   I was an addict.  It’s how K and I came to meet.  She read something The Suitor wrote in the comment section of the blog, revealing my complete obsession with the show and drafted an email with the subject line, "I’m not your bitch, bitch," a line from the show.  Immediately, she was a new friend.  Anyone who can obsess with me over food is good people.  I’ve also been reading up on making proper cocktails and bar food, as The Suitor and I plan to have a housewarming gig soon.  I love the word "muddle."  Muddle some raspberries for the drink, then add a simple syrup.  Truffle popcorn!  I can’t wait to have our new friends over.

But now that I’m over here, I want to catch up with as many of my friends as I can.  It’s hard with weather like this though.  No one wants to move.  No one meaning me.  I want to stay beneath the covers and wouldn’t dream of braving the drippy crowded subway full of leaky rain gear and oversized Duane Reade shopping bags.  Instead, I’ll sit here, watching, listening to, what sounds like, the When Harry Met Sally soundtrack.  Including the Christmas songs. Then I’ll wait for the weather to let up and hope my mood has too.  Or I’ll check movie times and just see the dreck that is The Break Up.  ‘Cause, um, I know nothing about breaking up. 

Comments

  1. I lived for Top Chef. Harold was my favorite from episode one.

    Did you have a favorite?

  2. If you liked Top Chef and need something lazy to do, read Tom Colicchio's blog on the Bravo website. It lets you see clear into his dislike of Dave.

  3. It's blue skies, sun, and triple-digit temperatures here in Austin. Enjoy the cool while you can…

  4. Bad weather on a visit home sucks. Ongoing, dreary rain and clouds somehow sap motivation and make doing anything a gargantuan task.

    I just say The Breakup. It's a pretty decent movie, but so not what I expected. You might like it.

  5. The Break Up isn't a bad movie. I have a pretty serious girl crush on Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn reminds me of my hubby so it was win-win there! It really hits home for some…including myself. Check it out…you won't regret it.

    BTW, what were your feelings towards Tiffany on Top Chef? I disliked her from the start…

  6. My wife went to see it by herself (chick movie) and said it was good. I never cared for Friends, but I liked Aniston in The Office and Rock Star(?). Not a big role in either, but she has a certain likeability.

    As for the rain, it's really only enjoyable for a day at a time, and you have to be at home and be of a mindset where you just want to shut down for a day. It's also better in a house where you have a screened in porch to watch it and relax.

    If you're on vacation in NYC and want to enjoy the rain (this is going to sound mean), then get out early to a Starbucks in a pair of old jeans and watch the poor people that have to go to work get soaked. Sit back with a latte and bisconi and be thankful it's not you.

  7. No one meaning me … There's only one person in my over-scheduled schizoid family who understands the importance of down time. Lois Lowry's giver. Listener. Urges me to climb out of bed yet accepts when I need space. To breathe. We muddle through puddles with our dogs and kids. Drizzles never bother us. We compromise. Let our surrounding sargeants dictate. We laugh so hard it hurts. So … we've switched family plans around this weekend. Emailed invitations for a cooking competition. RSVP with BYOK. Knives. Any kind. Otherwise we're dropping our dogs with their droppings.

  8. I made the mistake of seeing The Breakup last night. It was painful. There was no point to it. The ending sucked.
    There's two hours of my life I'll never get back.
    Please don't make the same mistake I did.

  9. Hey, Steph, it's Amy from San Antonio. I, too, loved Top Chef and was really happy Harold won and not Tiffany (the bitch). And yes, there is a dearth of good movies out there, but I did see The Breakup, and while it won't change your life or sweep the Academy Awards, it's not a bad way to spend a coupla hours. Take care – a

  10. I thought the Break Up was painfully boring. All the funny parts are in the previews.

  11. Part of me believes Tiffany should have won. I loved to hate her, of course, and quite honestly, I thought it was weird that the first line of her Bravo profile is that she's bi-sexual. I do and I don't understand bi-sexuality. You just love all people and are open minded. That, or you're just needy and indecisive. I'm just ignorant when it comes to that lifestyle. I should read up on it.

    Now, as for why I think she maybe should have won… I, and everyone else, rooted for Harold. He will have a staff that enjoys working for him. However, it seems his dishes didn't wow the judges the way Tiffany's did. It appeared that Tiffany was top cook, and Harold was top chef. Tiffany's food, I imagine, was more creative and tasted better, but since she was impossible, she lost. It would have been a huge upset had she won. She was just plain unlikable.

    On that note, I think I'm going to Serendipity for lunch today.

  12. I personally believe all of the reality show winners are pre-selected. You can predict who will win based on stereotype, who's turn it is to win. I must confess to being a fringe member of the Soul Patrol, I think Taylor Hicks is so adorable. But about five weeks in my sister and I knew the winner would be Taylor, Chris, or Elliot, because it was time for a white male winner. We had a black female win, a blackmale win, and two white females win! Who's left? And with Simon giving Taylor so much guff, he was clearly the underdog. America loves the underdog! Once it was down to the final two, it was obvious who would win. Katherine McPhee didn't stand a chance because Kelly Clarkston and Carrie Underwood already won.

    Another confession: I did not watch EVERY episode, but I did follow America's Next Top Model with some interest (a 19-year old sister can guilt you into such shows by mentioning the lack of quality time with her big sister that she suffers from). We knew a black girl would win, because Tyra is trying to keep that whole thing evenly balanced. However, next season, mark my words! A Hispanic chick will win. Possibly an Asian woman, but Hispanics are a larger minority group. My sister and I could retire on reality show betting pools if we wanted to!

  13. I loved when they brought out the "I'm not your bitch, bitch!" shirt on the finale and sloppy drunk Tiffany tried to steal it, and the show while she was it at. Big ol' ugly crocodile tears. She probably spent 3 hours blowing out her hair and didn't even bother with the leave-in conditioner :)
    Bar food: I tried a recipe for toasted pistachios and chick peas that I found on epicurious.com. It went over really well and was a great accompaniment to wine and cheese…..also great the next few nights with beer. You might want to give it a try!
    http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/107685

  14. Re: Taylor Hicks being pre-selected to win- he wasn't. It may seem that way, but my sister-in-law works with the head of reality tv at Fox and believe me, no one is pre-selected on that show.

    Stephanie: "I do and I don't understand bi-sexuality. You just love all people and are open minded. That, or you're just needy and indecisive." WOW. Just when I'm warming to you. Perhaps bisexuality is not meant to be "understood," think of that? It just might be a genetic predisposition, like heterosexuality or homosexuality.

  15. Top Chef was so good, and of course we all knew Harold was going to win. Nice to show that a NY chef can be such an amicable guy :)

    Interesting that Tiffany put that mention about her sexuality on her profile, I must have missed that (I usually just read the judge's blogs). What is her point in putting that? Strange.

    Serendipity? I say todays' a wine bar/tapas kinda day. I'd get a good buzz on by about 3 p.m. today if I could. I forgot where you are but there's a cute little place called Tia Pol on 10th Avenue in the 20's. Have fun!

  16. Dreck? Is that like Slough? Or Dredge or Sloth?

    Now I'm rethinking The Breakup. I could spend those two hours reading blogs.

  17. Ok so K is the blogger, and how funny she just wrote about going to meet YOU first, gawker had it on today, so cute! i knew it was you stephanie…
    so : re: Top Chef: is Harold really dating LeeAnn, someone TELL ME i'm dying to know!!!!!

    i want to start a blog so i can then meet Stephanie!???
    so incestual this blog world.

  18. Oh … I love K and her blog and it seems so perfect that you and she are friends!

    Good luck with you housewarming and friend impressing!

    mamak

  19. The only thing I didn't like about "Top Chef" was Katie Lee Joel. I can't put my finger on precisely why I didn't like her. Yeah, she's married to Billy Joel – whatever. That doesn't really bug me that much. She probably loves him. Obviously, that's why she got the job, but not why she chafes me so much. There are plenty of young, attractive foodies with oodles of personality Bravo could've chosen.

    I loved her clothes. She has Pugs; that's a bonus… a Pug owner can't be total crap. She's such a pretty girl. Nice hair. Good makeup. Tasteful jewelry. She has some sort of Internet venture called Olive & Peach or somesuch that is interesting.

    Was it her insipid, personality-free nature? Was it that everyone seemed to simply tolerate her, that there was zero cameraderie with her and the other judges, and yet no overt dislike?

    Help me here.

    P.S. If LeeAnn and Harold are together, that would just make my day.

  20. By now you might have went to see The Break Up. They tacked on the last scene, which you can totally tell…. they were trying to give it a more "Hopefull" ending. Idck. Didn't work. I understand that they were trying to make a more "realistic" movie, and I appreciate that effort, but really…. it actually did NOT ring true to me. I don't know…. not mad I saw it, there were moments that had me coughing up a gut, love Vince Vaughn and the "Tone Rangers" are priceless:)

    Regarding Tiffany, she was the risk taker, and when it paid off, it seemed to really pay off and I definitely respected that. It's funny, of allll the dishes made on that show I only really remember one, that Pumpkin thing Tiffany made, which says something about her creativity. I think what she lacked was a certain sense of awareness, maturity and humility… and in just being able to see herself on TV, she already came back a better person and in the end, could one day, indeed, be the TOP CHEF. With that said, thru the whole season I was trying to bitch slap her through my TV and told my hubby if anything happened to him and Harold happened to find me I wouldn't mind having his children:)

    Hells Kitchen starts this week ( i think) a little more hardcore, but I Can't wait!!!

  21. don't go see the breakup. i thought it was going to be a mildly amusing romantic comedy.
    it's actually poorly written and slightly depressing. you leave feeling bad about love, and jennifer anniston's acting skills.
    however, you do feel good about her body but in return feel bad about your own.
    so good luck.

    and sorry about the rain, new york in the rain sucks. unless you're in the movies. but not the breakup, because that's worse than new york in the rain.

  22. Go to the Angelika and see a few foreign or independents, like "Water" or the Betty Page one. Oh wait, I'm in Cleveland and we just got those ones, so NY probably has new indies. GO SHOPPING then. Did you thread your brows yet?

  23. I still haven't seen The Break-up. I spent the day working, actually. But tonight I'm off to The Little Owl restaurant, then maybe back to Pegu Club for beverages (if you go, get the scallop mini burgers)… though who knows. We were going to hit up Fatty Crab, but The Suitor described the menu as "my biggest nightmare," so we're not going. We shall see where we land after Little Owl. It's one of the things I love about New York, not knowing exactly what the night holds.

  24. Have you ever been to Alice's Tea Cup on West 73rd? It has the BEST Croque Madame sandwiche with the perfect salad, that was my favorite rainy day lunch spot. It's tiny but adorable. Oh, I miss the city. Enjoy it!!!

  25. For me rains are best time to meet up with friends; we go to places nearby that are beautiful only during rains ,
    Like a trek or a hillstation nearby … rains are fun.

  26. I can't believe that Phil didnt want to go to Fatty Crab! Is the Wonton Mee or Skate that exotic? ;)

    Nasi Lemak is the dish I bet you would have enjoyed. :(

  27. Housewarming with friends! Sounds very exciting. Was it that long ago that I read you were trying to meet new people in Austin, no? I gather you've met some…..at least enough for a housewarming party. Was it playing tennis? Wine club? Just wondering. Would you mind elaborating on your guests?

  28. "I do and I don't understand bi-sexuality. You just love all people and are open minded. That, or you're just needy and indecisive. I'm just ignorant when it comes to that lifestyle. I should read up on it."

    OK, Stephanie. I'm a huge oozing fan and all, so in honor of DC Gay Pride weekend, I'll stand up for the bisexuals of the world. It's a little sweeping to suggest that people would have sex with people of either gender based on being needy and indecisive. I actually think it takes a little more gumption than that not to slip into people's preconceived notions of gay OR straight. And it's definitely not about loving ALL people. One can be bisexual and still be pretty picky about who you love or make out with. Think of it as the usual serial monogamy, just like everyone else, just with different gendered partners. And it definitely doesn't preclude falling for one or the other and settling down forever. Yes, some people who claim to be bisexual are just "on their way to gay," but sometimes that's not the case. Kinsey spectrum and all….

    I figure a little acceptance and knowledge goes a long way… and know that your comment was completely open-minded when made.

  29. Thank you for the explanations. After more thought and discussion, I withdraw my uninformed and poorly-formulated comment. Here's what I learned: I stopped looking at a bisexual as someone who has no preference, and instead realize, it's not about choice. I now imagine, and of course I could be wrong, and everyone is different, bisexuals don't wake up in the mood for one sex over another. I don't think they make a choice. They just don't have an aversion to being sexual with one sex. They're sexually ambidextrous, just born with that ability not to have a favorite. That's my take on it today anyway. Thanks for the comments on this. It really got me thinking.

    I still don't understand why it's the first line in Tiffany's profile though.

  30. You honestly don't understand why the first line in Tiffany's profile is about her bisexuality? Stephanie, let's be frank: Judging from the entries in this 'blog–and especially from the entry "100 things about me" [sic]–you define yourself primarily through your sexuality. How is having a website that makes an emphasis on your own sexual experiences (even though they are with men and you are, presumably, heterosexual) any different than someone writing on their own website that they are bisexual? I'm serious. I am curious as to why this is an issue for you. You of all people should understand someone relating primarily to themselves (or at least defining their web presence) through their sexuality. I think it's because you can't get over the issue of bisexuality. You claim to "understand" it after a few people lambasted you for discussing it in the flippant manner that you did (and thank you for taking that back; I really do appreciate that) but this, too, is part of understanding it. People understand you and your frank discussions of sex, after all. Can't you understand them?

  31. I'm in love with the rain. It makes me feel alive. Looking like a drowned rat, on the other hand, does not. I play it by ear, but when I want to do something, rain won't stop me. It's just part of my next adventure.

  32. If you like muddling things – try the Caiproska at Mercer Kitchen when you head back to NY. It's THE most delicious drink – EVER. Vodka, muddled black cherries with a little (little) bit of the juice and sugar around the rim.

    It's heaven!!

    I made my boyfriend watch Top Chef with me – but we're in different time zones (me west, him east)so i would always beg him to tell me what happened and he never would. I insisted he watch the premiere of Hells Kitchen tonight – so we can rehash it later. :) Love love love the chef shows – their ingenuity and creativity is so insipiring.

  33. I'll take being in New York in the rain over hot muggy Florida waiting for the next hurricane, any day of the week. Enjoy your rainy days as much as the sunny ones.

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