a friend indeed? no, a friend in creed

In ALL, LIFE OBSERVATIONS by Stephanie Klein34 Comments

If Linus were a real friend, would he tell me I look fat in these jeans?  What kind of friend would he be?  I mean, I met him at Roosevelt Field mall, while shopping.  How ironic.  But I wonder now, if we went shopping together, would he need to go into every store and touch everything, even if he had no money to spend?  He already watches chick flicks with me, so I know he’s not one of those "above all things girl" types who’d start a blog mocking eye cream and shoes.  Though I suspect if we were at the movies, he’d hoard the tub of popcorn and eat the good buttered pieces first.  Would he answer his phone if he saw it was me on caller ID?  Would he get along with my other friends, or would he be too cliquish?  You know how friends can be.  I bet he’d order the same way each time we went out for sushi, a spicy tuna hand roll to start with a tray of extra sauce for the dipping.  He’d roll his eyes at the slivered oranges at the end.  He’d eat too much wasabi, and his nose would run, but he’d say, "I sort of like it when that happens."  I wonder if he’d be the kind of friend to tell me my breath stinks.  I bet he would.  That’s what friends do.  He’d hand me a bedside mint.  "I’ll have one too," he’d say, taking one for the team.  "Do you have enough covers?"  Very thoughtful friend.  But when I’d want a pedicure, he’d refuse.  "It’s where I slam my paws down, Klein.  Even if you call it a nail buff, I’m not falling for it.  A dog’s gotta draw the line somewhere."  Then he’d pee, in a line, to prove his point.  "Hee hee," he’d add. 

I think different friends suit our different moods; we go to different friends for different things.  I have one friend who’s great for jean shopping and manicures.  She bosses me around, bringing piles of new pairs for me to try, then knows exactly where they should break, sets me up with a proper hem.  I’d never go to her for advice, and I can only stand her in small doses, yet I still consider her a friend.  I’ve known her for years, but she’s not part of my close-knit confidants.  It’s not that she’s incapable of advice, but I have other friends for that, friends who think before speaking. 

I’d never phone Alexandra and ask if she wants to walk downtown, while I bring my camera, as she has no patience for that type of thing.  I’d call my dear forever friend Smelly for that, and later that day she’d send a thank you note with her favorite photo from the day attached.  Yet I can speak with Alexandra for hours and love and adore her, and put her in charge of planning anything, and we talk the same way and think the same things.  I turn to Kimberly, a woman who has taped rose quartz to her breast with a band-aid to open her heart chakras, when I need advice on The Suitor.  She should be a therapist.  To Barbara for updates and philosophical conversation.  All of them delight me with the details of their lives, and they help support me through mine.  Dulce is my strongest friend who continues to amaze me.  Then there are the friends I rarely speak with, yet whenever we do, it’s as if no time has gone by.  My pick-up friends.  Picking-up where we last left off.  We needn’t call or write or keep up on the twirls of our lives; we just step in, as if we already know all the steps. 

Friends, like perfume, can also suit a particular mood.  Some are dinner friends who don’t pressure you to go out afterward.  They’re spicy and sexy, yet warm.  Linen napkin friends.  There are lighter summer friends who prefer to spend time with you doing creative projects, pot-luck dinners, pottery on Sunday afternoon.  Verbena friends.  Then there are the classics, of course, the scents you could wear all day long, despite the activity or mood.  Your circle.  Linus would be a friend in there, and after a while, I’m sure we’d start sharing perfume. 

Comments

  1. I have often wondered this about my cat Charlie. If he were a real man he would be loyal and trustworthy. He would be the friend that was brutally honest yet sensitive. I have decided that he would talk like a distinguished English gentleman. He would prefer tea to a Fourbucks latte anyday but he would pay for mine. He would laugh at my jokes even when they are not funny. He would sit through a chick flick but not a raunchy comedy. He would be considered uptight by other friends but he would be the one that I love the most.

    I have never thought about friends for different moods before but we all have them. We know how to categorize them. We know what they are "good for". We know them as they know us and we love them for it.

    Beautiful entry Stephanie…..

  2. ok, i love this post. i had a dog who was amazing, i could cry thinking about her and its been years since she died.

  3. I could be friends with exactly one of my dogs. The second is too outdoorsy for my tastes, I fear. She'd want to camp out and hunt and such. I'm just not into that.

    The third is a dirty old man. Like really old. 90 or so.

    And the one I could be friends with thinks I'm a lousy mom. She's always herding my children and then looking at me like, "Well, it didn't look like YOU were really considering the danger, so I stepped in. AGAIN."

  4. I'm soo with you. Especially, right now. I cannot seem to find a friend for my "going out to a gay bar/first night of fleet week" mood. My cat certainly is the best friend when I'm down (he's somewhat doglike).

  5. I love a huge gulp of supercharged wasabi…mouth closed….till it burns your nose and starts to feel like someone is whacking you on the back of the head with a frying pan.

    Ahh….

    Wasabi….

  6. My Linus would be the best friend ever. The one who you can spend hours with and not get sick of and not want alone time…is there such a thing?

  7. We went to a charity dog walk this weekend – in the 2500 or so dogs, there was one that was my dear, ancient gram who died a few years ago. Her spirit was housed in a 12-13 year old bassett hound, in a blanketed and pillowed wagon, being pulled by a woman who adores her, all around the park. When she wanted to – she got off the wagon, took a delicate drink, relieved herself, and was lifted back onto the pillowed tuft. Queen Bee. It was lovely.

  8. Friends are kind of like clothes, you have different ones for different occassions, there's really not a 'one-size-fits-all' kind of friend.

    As for the dog, well, my pug puppy (Chief) is shaping up to be the greatest friend ever, he's sensitive, funny and has all the time in the world for you. The only problem is the snoring…

  9. My cat would have been devastatingly chic – her wardrobe would have killed me – her perfectly timed snarky yet laughable comments would have kept me coming back for more. She was so fabulous.

    I have lots of friends i keep in 'buckets' – drinking friends – advice friends – going out and looking fabulous friends – shopping until our feet hurt friends – i love them all – but rarely cross them over. I'm very into my girly-girl girlfriends right now – lots of mani's/pedi's – lunches – shopping – gossiping…

  10. Sometimes it takes the simple topics to bring the reality back that its all about the creative writing and thought process not so much the topic.

  11. Linus would tell you how beautifully you thread words together. He'd deliver your eyebrow threader. Just because. Just bepause. Just bepaws he loves you unconditionally.

  12. Its so great to have friends for different occassions! There are the "lets get drunk and crazy friends", the "I need to vent and not be judged" friends, the "shopping" friends and the "unconditional love" friends.

    I wonder where my friends catagorize me?

  13. recently, i've been contacted by so many of my chicas from elementary school and jr. high with whom i'd lost touch. it's so odd that i was disconnected from them from so long, and i cannot believe i ever did without them; then, i realized, i never did. they were/are always with me. like them, dear chica, you are always with me. despite the nyc – tx distance.

  14. I hope the day will be a lighter highway
    For friends are found on every road
    Can you ever think of any better way
    For the lost and weary travellers to go

    Making friends for the world to see
    Let the people know you got what you need
    With a friend at hand you will see the light
    If your friends are there then everything's all right

    It seems to me a crime that we should age
    These fragile times should never slip us by
    A time you never can or shall erase
    As friends together watch their childhood fly

    Elton John/Bernie Taupin

  15. There's a poem out there that says something like "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." … I think this is so true. Sometimes you think you have met a forever friend, but when the flit out of the picture, you realize they were just there to get us through that difficult time. Sometimes you meet a person who you can't imagine a long term friendship with, only to find them becoming your closest confidant. I think that pets can be that way too…you never know how things will really work out when you get a pet … sometimes they are too much for you, sometimes you for them …
    Glad Linus is such a good friend!

  16. Friends to shop with, go out and laugh so hard that your cheeks hurt, friends for going to spa and doing all the girly things, friends for advice and honest I-don`t-want-to-hear-it-but-its-for-my-own-good,etc.
    They are very different but I love them all. They have pushed me when I have been lazy and been there for me when I had hard times. They are the reason for me being who I am now.

  17. This one reminds me of that Sex and the City episode where Carrie runs out of things to write about and resorts to comparing men to socks. But cuter.

    I've got a Lucy, believe it or not. Does Linus like Boston Terriers?

  18. That was a great post. I'm spending the weekend away from my man with some girlfriends and now I'm going to be comparing them to my cats.

    I'm not kidding.

  19. Linking friends and dogs. Does that mean you think your friends are bitches? How did so many of the fawning fans miss that?

  20. Mr friends and I play a game where we decide what kind of dog other friends of ours would be. My husband always tells me I would be a chihuahua – not sure how I feel about that one, connotates a certain yippiness, doesn't it?.We play the same game with foods – we have one friend who would without a doubt be a chicken mcnugget if he were a food.

  21. "hoard the tub of popcorn and eat the good buttered pieces first.."

    hahah… i ADORE your blog!

  22. this is a wonderful post. made me really think about what kind of friend my dog would be.

  23. You know oddly enough, you're the reason I ever tried Creed's Fleur de The Rose Bulgare. There was a link to your blog off Perfume of Life. I read your post about it, bought some and fell in love at first sniff.

  24. Ok, so who am I? Just the annoying, talks to damn long, sister?! What kind of perfume would I be?! A fart?! No, I would have to be something that lingers. Or something fruity and fun maybe? Perhaps. You would be that vintage old lady smell that reminds me of Beverly's bathroom…roses. How ironic?

  25. Truly delightful. It spoke to me enough that I'm going to email it to several of my friends who live far away. Thank you : )

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