INTP just last year

In ALL, MY LISTS by Stephanie Klein34 Comments

After re-reading this, I know it makes very little sense.  I know because I’m squinting trying to understand my logic.   I’m recording the answers to a myers-briggs test so I can take it again in a year or so to see if I’ve changed noticably. I have answered all questions and will post them in the coming days along with my "score" and analysis.  I’ve done this a few times before, and each time my score is slightly different. Last year, I was INTP
Introverted 11%
Intuitive 56%
Thinking 22%
Perceiving 11%

My girlfriend Dulce was ENTJ, and Alexandra was ESTJ.  These two make plans for me.  I show up.  This year my results were quite different in two categories.  A guy friend of mine whom I really think of as the male version of me scored an ENFJ score.  My father is an ISFJ.  My friend Derek, an ESFP, noted "It makes no distinction, however, for the difference between what one exudes and what one actually *feels*."  The Suitor took the test a year ago, also, and netted out as an ENFJ (22,25, 38, 33).  I find this very interesting because I consider him my complete opposite (Mr. Aries), yet he has the same score as the male me.  I told him our relationship was described as "Pedagogue."  Each is both the other’s mentor and student, has a parent to child feel.  To which he responded, "Who’s your daddy? has a new sound to it now."  He used to be funny.  I used to be cute.  Oh wait, I was the funny one.  Just re-read the email.  The who’s your daddy line was mine.

As a rule, current preoccupations worry you more than your future plans. 
I have no idea.  Right now, and this is somehow hard to admit, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ll spare you the list.  I know I’m preoccupied, know there’s too much cortisol going on around here, have the fat to prove it, (also purchased some green tea to help with it) but really, am I preoccupied about now or later?  I guess later because now is great. But, if now were crap, I’d worry about now.  But if now were indeed craptastic it certainly isn’t "as a rule?"  I genuinely have no idea how to answer.  I guess I just assume everything is going to work out in the future, so I don’t worry too much about it.  I mean, really, aside from contributing to a 401k and brushing my teeth once in a while, what else is there to plan?  I’ll answer N.
You find it difficult to talk about your feelings.
You feel at ease in a crowd.
Like how much of a crowd?  Concert crowds are okay as long as there’s somewhere to sit.  But a crowded sports bar where they really only serve pitchers of beer or hard alcohol?  I definitely do not feel at ease there.  I hate that shit.  HATE.  I also hate having to stand in a crowd, especially if that crowd is in Duane Reade.  Slow people.  I’m not at ease with slow people.  A crowd of strangers at a party where I have to smile and be polite, no.  I HATE that.  I think of myself as a social being, but it really depends on who the beings are.  If, for instance, they’re friends of in-laws, I’d rather get waxed without Advil.  And now, the idea of a crowd of bloggers makes me itchy.  Unless there’s food.  Good food.  Little hot dogs.  I can endure almost any crowd provided they’ve got mushrooms in philo cups.  I’ll answer Y.
You do your best to complete a task on time.
A task on time?  ALWAYS.  I’m a nerd when it comes to work.  Or as my editor says, "a goodie goodie."  I hand in everything right away, on time.  Except, ask me to meet you for dinner or a movie, and it’s, "why don’t you go ahead and pick the seats.  I’ll be there by the time previews end."  Y.
You are strongly touched by the stories about people’s troubles.
Not really.  I’ll cry at the worst chick flick ever, yet give me a real-life horror story, and I’ll hear the words come from my mouth.  I’ll hear, "that’s so horrible," but I won’t cry.  I cry by manipulation.  I need music to swell and the underdog to win.  This seems like something I should be ashamed of.  It seems cold, but I don’t think of myself as a cold person.  My answer to this question, actually, bothers me.  This isn’t who I think I am.  Answer N.
You are more interested in a general idea than in the details of its realization.
I don’t even know what this means.  I need to break it down slowly to understand what I’m answering.  Ah, clearly by needing to do this my answer should be N.  Do I only care about the big idea or its granular execution?  Well, I like the idea of Austin, TX, but am I ready for the burbs?  Am I ready to speak to people who mention Jesus when speaking of their morning?  I think I like ideas, and I care less about the nitty gritty of them.  It’s why I like the idea of camping.  No one mentions mosquitoes.  They mention marshmallows and flashlights.  I’m an idea girl.  Y.
Strict observance of the established rules is likely to prevent a good outcome.
At first, I responded, "No way.  You want to get somewhere, break some rules.  You only live once.  N."  But now (thanks to a comment) I realize I mis-read the statement.  Will following rules and laws prevent a good outcome?  Well, it depends on the rules, right?  You might follow the rules, but that doesn’t guarantee success.  It also doesn’t prevent it.  Somehow though, I’m anti-rules and believe training people to follow them strictly is asking for a vanilla world.  It reminds me of my favorite Harry Chapin song, "Flowers are red," where a young boy colors flowers all the colors of the rainbow until his teacher scolds, "flowers are red!" and has him draw only red flowers.  It makes me sad.  Answer Y. 
Often you prefer to read a book than go to a party.
Okay, I don’t know about good book, but tonight, for example, 4 different people invited me out to play.  Some to parties.  Some to dinner.  Some for happy hour.  And I’m sitting home, with my makeup on, heels fastened, jeans tight.  And I’m not going anywhere.  I’d rather sit inside alone and think about reading a good book.  Maybe I’ll watch a bad movie and pick up a book I’m mid-way through. Answering Y because it’s not just tonight.  I do this often.  I don’t know why.  Sometimes it takes too much energy to smile at people.  I’d rather sit at a bar alone with a good book and fall into easy conversation with a couple as they wait for their dinner table.
You tend to rely on your experience rather than on theoretical alternatives.
Yes.  Only I know me.  Only I know how I’ll feel, if I’ll be able to sleep at night, despite what anyone theorizes.
It’s difficult to get you excited.
It only takes a cook book or a creative project, and I can hardly sit still.  N.
You rapidly get involved in social life at a new workplace.
I never get involved.  I’m so anti-social in work situations.  More than canned tuna, I hate office politics.  I want no part of a work life.
It is in your nature to assume responsibility.
No. No.  And No.
You frequently and easily express your feelings and emotions.
You often think about humankind and its destiny.
No.  I wonder what my role in life and the universe is.
You believe the best decision is one that can be easily changed.
This is tough. I think a good decision is one that lasts.  Being married or pregnant should not be easily changed.  That’s what I see in decisions, the points where we take a risk and jump, knowing we can’t turn back.  That’s a leap; it’s not necessarily "the best decision."  I think making a decision, in and of itself, is picking a direction without having to go back and change it.  N.
You are a person somewhat reserved and distant in communication.
I have a blog about my life.  Please.
You prefer to act immediately rather than speculate about various options.
I weigh everything and rarely act impulsively, unless it’s to do with love.  When love is involved, I’m impulsive.  When jealousy is involved, I act first, and cry later.  Mostly though, in life, I measure options. N.
You trust reason rather than feelings.
I could write a book about this.  I have very strong feelings and have the capacity to feel things deeply, but I’ve learned that sometimes these feelings are completely irrational.  So I question what’s really going on.  I sabotage because of feelings.  I also trust mine, despite how many times I’m left crying.  I trust my gut instinct more than anything reasonable.  I’d rather be wrong than wish I’d acted.  N.
You spend your leisure time actively socializing with a group of people, attending parties, shopping, etc.
Surprisingly, no.  I spend my leisure time alone.  In book stores.  In a bar with a glass of wine.  Cooking at home.  Watching movies with a pile of books by the bed.  Drawing.  Doing writing exercises.  This is my life.
You usually plan your actions in advance.
No.  I make lists sometimes of things I have to do.  Deposit this.  Sign that.  Go to gym.  Then I ignore most of it and do what I want.  I rarely plan anything.  I find the nights where I look like shit, without any makeup, sans shower in ugly clothes and sneakers tend to be my best and most memorable nights.  Okay, forget the sneakers.  That’s just pushing it. 


  1. statement: "Strict observance of the established rules is likely to prevent a good outcome."

    your response: "No way. You want to get somewhere, break some rules. You only live once. N."

    Might want to reread that statement, with special attention to the tenth word, before you answer.

  2. Good point. Maybe I do jobs in a hurry, after all. That or my reading comprehension sucks the big fat hairy moose cock. I will append.

  3. Oh, I'm gonna throw you a rare barb. I think your site is sadly becomming cluttered with ads. This does not seem like you at all. I'd rather see your photos lining the margins or something "Stephanie." Do you really need the money? Think about it, OK?

  4. I have learned to avoid Meyers-Briggs or the Kiersey Temperament Sorter tests. Meyers-Briggs cracks me up because my whole personality type changes from ENTP to ISTJ based on whether I am having my period or not ;-)

    I think you will measure yourself greatly by reading back on your book and your writings in years to come – like the little pencil marks on the doorways marking inches.

    Have a great weekend ahead!


  5. We love you Stephanie, whethter or not your postings "make very little sense" (and by the way, they ALWAYS make sense)

  6. Does this really help you understand yourself more? That may seem like a blatantly obvious question…but I've always shied away from these assessment type things (excluding Psych 101 when the professor didn't have anything better for us to do). Still, if it helps…maybe I'll try it on myself. There are certainly parts of my personality and 'self' that aren't working for me right now…I'm just not too sure what those parts are.

  7. "Well, I like the idea of Austin, TX, but am I ready for the burbs? Am I ready to speak to people who mention Jesus when speaking of their morning?"

    If you think this is what Austin is all about, honey, then please, please, please, stay away from our wonderful city. We don't want you.

  8. Your entry made perfect sense to me. Is that scary or what? By the way, I'm an INTJ. What did your new answers make you?

  9. I've been a Meyers-Briggs believer for 20 years, and i've never seen anyone's middle 2 letters change over time. This is your fundamental character, so while you E/I, J/P might fluctuate throughout your life to go from NT to NF would signal a very big shift in your thinking, esp. over a year. Im a little suspect of that, wonder if your state of mind for one of those 2 tests was a little off usual (as an INFP and fu**ng stuck with it haha).

  10. Stephanie…I am described (and it is true) as pragmatic. Judging people by their actions, not their words. I wonder if this is true of you. What do you think?


  11. I thought the whole point of this test was to give your first instinctual answer and not overthink the questions too much? no?

  12. ESFJ
    Extroverted 33%
    Sensing 12%
    Feeling 75%
    Judging 33%

    I wish I knew what result I got last time (~2 years ago)

  13. Thank you for pointing me at this – fascinating. Have to say it's spot on for me – and apparently I form 1% of the populace:
    Introverted 22%
    Intuitive 25%
    Thinking 38%
    Judging 89%

    Great game for a Friday night!

  14. I definitely agree with not getting involved in social life in the workplace. I have a good friend who always gets so involved with her co-workers that she has a million social obligations outside of work- birthdays, baby showers, baby's birthdays, etc.

    We used to travel together and she always had a long list of people from work she had to buy trinkets and t-shirts for wherever we went. She asked me if I had anyone to buy for from work, and I told her,"That's why I don't get involved socially with them- so I don't have to waste a nice day shopping for 'work friends'". Once you get stuck in that loop, you can never get out without looking like the bad guy. I'm happy not seeing anyone from work between the hours of 5PM and 9AM- unless it's for a holiday party.

  15. Stephanie, I have been a HUGE fan of your blog for quite some time, so it is w/ a great deal of respect and curiousity that I ask … why do you have GIANT AOL banner ads on your page?

    AOL is so NOT your brand, sista!

  16. You know, I have flipped between an INTJ and INFP previously as well.. my T/F and P/J have always been borderline though.

  17. Hey Paul – despite the statistical unlikelihood, I'm part of that 1% too! Small world, huh?

    I'm INTJ (Rational Mastermind)
    Introverted 67%
    Intuitive 25%
    Thinking 25%
    Judging 67%

    My cat is ESFP (Performer Artisan)
    Extroverted 22%
    Sensing 62%
    Feeling 75%
    Perceiving 22%

    Both are completely accurate.

  18. I agree. I can understand the temptation to include advertising on the site but the implementation is pretty horrific. Omaha steaks BBQ? Scratch4Cash? All of a sudden, I feel like I'm at Costco.

  19. About three weeks ago Google Ads were causing the text on the blog to bunch up and become unreadable. I've spent too much time trying to configure Typepad with results being more problems. In the end, I implemented a policy of "If it isn't breaking the posts, i'm not touching it anymore". If anyone knows coding and how to fix things when broken, i'd consider messing with it again but seeing the other problems I have had with typepad, I can live with this.

  20. Reading your blog is always a pleasure. Because although that test was totally wrong, we get to learn so much random information about you. I live for random!

    Keep it up! Also I checked out your book cover on Amazon, looks good!


  21. INFJ – Independent, Needy, (not mutually exclusive) Female Jew. Sounds like a singles ad! INFJ seeks SWJM. If I ever write one, it might be my opener. LOL.

  22. What's important to remember is that these are tendencies and are not permamencies. I mean it's hard to conclude that you're an introvert. But this is just one measuring stick. I think it's good to know but I wouldn't place too much emphasis on it.

  23. "I still ask those questions. “Would you still love me if I only had one arm?”"

    I know, I know, we're from Mars, your're from Venus. Different species. I shouldn't ask, but I have to. Is this a chick thing? I wouldn't think to ask this question in a thousand lifetimes. Do all women think like this? Has any man that reads this blog ever asked this question?

  24. In reply to Joey B., my boyfriend asked me today, "Would you still like me if I wasn't tall?" to which I had to lie.

    Also, I have been experimenting with Myers-Briggs lately, and I'm either INFJ or ENFJ depending on (I think) whether I think about myself at work or with friends. I have learned to be functionally an extrovert in work situations because it is advantageous and beneficial to be outgoing in my workplace, but when I am truly "at peace" with the thing I call my "self," I am an INFJ all the way.

    So now I know why I enjoy your blog, Stephanie, even though we have seemingly very little in common. Right on.

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