sweep the leg, johnny!

In ALL, PHOTOGRAPHYby Stephanie Klein22 Comments

This past weekend I attended the Sumo world challenge, battle of the giants, at Madison Square Garden brought to us by “Big Boy Productions.”  For once I wasn’t the only one with a ponytail, wedgie, and cellulite in the room.  Admittedly, this time I was one-upped by the boys.  “The Boys” were mostly from Norway, Poland, Georgia, and Russia (or so the announcer said).  It seemed to be more of a WWF show than a traditional Sumo match, rich with tradition, streamers, and rice.

What kind of people attend a Sumo match at The Garden?  Would spectators be Japanese or family members of an Italian nicknamed “tartufo” from Parsipany, NJ?  Mostly, the crowd was what you’d expect to see at a NY Ranger game, without the orange foam fingers and sport jerseys.  Instead, spectators tightened white headbands on and repeated, “Yes Danielson” often.  Karate was the closest they’ve known to Sumo.
The crowd lept to its feet in cheer for the true fatties weighing in at 419 lbs.  Though when up against a wee bit o’ man, the crowd shifted its attention to the underdog, weighing in at 220 lbs.  A deep steady cheer of “Roooo-dy.  Roooo-dy,” passed through the crowd.  The little guy made it to the semi-finals.  But “SU-PER-TITS” made it all the way.  Before his final round, he tucked in his sack and vagina, gave his ass cheeks a slap while lifting a leg, then pushed his opponent out of the circle.

View more of the photos from the night >>


  1. that first picture is disturbing on so many levels … but interesting since it's something that you would never see in my small, atlantic canadian, city! :) you certainly get to experience some different things in your life, stephanie!

  2. Two minor quibbles:

    One rarely sees orange foam fingers at the garden (during a Ranger game) — unless the Islanders are playing the Rangers and the visiting fans outnumber the Ranger fans. The fingers, incidentally, are usually royal blue in color, and instead of the index (aka We're Number 1) fingers, it's usually the middle finger flipped in the direction of the Ranger bench and the coaches and the owner of the team.

    As for the other part — you not being alone in your ponytail/wedgie/cellulite cavalcade — acoutrement — I'll never look at Sumo wrestling — or GT — the same way again ;)

    Thanks…I think ;)

  3. I watched some sumo while in Japan. It's very rich in heritage, and might be a little more fun when watching with someone that can explain it.

  4. Well, all I can say is I'm glad I'm not the woman behind the right boob of the first picture with her finger up her nose. And what's up with the automaton off boobs bigger than mine's left hand? That guy looks just exactly the same all the way though. Maybe he's a robot. Thanks for a glimpse into something I hope to never see in person, and thanks for the bright spot in my day, as usual. You're a gem!

  5. I agree – looks more WWF than traditional Sumo. Traditional Sumo is an event – this looked more like a spectacle. Disappointing.

  6. What I wonder is — what's so funny? Is it the gigantor naked men? The hilarious man boobs, maybe?

    The entire right side of the audience in the second photo is cracking up about something.

  7. My girlfriend and I always go to this restaurant called, Mt. Fuji— in Hillburn, NY. About 45 minutes from NYC, you probably even been there.

    Anyway, it's a Japanese sushi bar and steak house. They have this cocktail lounge that you can wait for your table and have a drink.

    At the bar, the tv's always have the Sumo wrestling matches up. I chuckled at it at first, because I wasn't familiar with it very much, but as time went on, we are not addicted to this! Every time we go to the sushi place, we are stuck at the bar watching the matches.

    Did you have fun? I heard about them coming to New York.

  8. I needed the laugh this afternoon. It is going by so slowly. I enjoy reading your blog…

  9. hilarious — i live in new york, and this is one of those 'only in new york' moments. the faces of the spectators are almost better than those massive, jigging, densely muscular bodies in miniscule loin clothes…i didn't even know that was going on at the garden. this city is a trip (on multiple levels).

  10. Kaia-The three pictures shown above look exactly like the sumo I saw in Japan. And everyone else has to be a little more accepting of foreign cultures. It's neither ugly, nor beautiful, it is simply a part of a culture other than ours.

  11. Its P A R S I P P A N Y…and really it is a good place, you should try it before you knock it!!!

    eww, talk about man boobs :)

  12. One of the guys in that first pic looked like he had a cute ass and killer body (obviously not the one facing that camera – It had to be said – I ain't no chubby chaser)


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