to blog or not to blog

In ALL, MY LISTSby Stephanie Klein

Reasons not to blog:

  • Stalkers who love you
  • Stalkers who hate you
  • Bi-polar stalkers who can’t make up their minds but stalk you just the same
  • I could be busy self-deprecating in a mirror, going through the motions at the gym, or not selling any of my stuff on eBay instead
  • Having to hear the "are you ever really in the moment?" speech
  • Co-workers who talk about your waxed pusssy and wonder how you bill your bathroom masturbation time
  • Your boyfriend’s parents
  • Hearing everyone flatter themselves with "is this going to end up on the blog?"
  • Trolls and cruel anonymity
  • To receive unwarranted bad advice
  • The Granite of Google staying power
  • So people can make inaccurate assumptions about who you are
  • So dates ask you if they’re part of your research
  • So before meeting you, but thinking they know you because they “read you,” a prospective date can repeat his friend’s question to him, “Why would you bother meeting her when you can learn everything about her from the blog?”
  • So people can call you an inept train wreck with flabby arms
  • So you can develop thick skin, so thick even Dr. Gregory Brown’s Revive Volumizing Serum, selling for $600 per ounce, won’t restore even a hint of elasticity to your calloused soul
  • I could be making lists instead.

Reasons to blog:

  • The stalkers who lead you to meet your hot detective, "stripper cop"
  • Validation, freedom, venting, & exposure
  • Good drinks from fans
  • Fans
  • Meeting new boys
  • Making new friends
  • So your inbox is more likely to be filled
  • So you can give him a URL (that doesn’t have to answer) instead of your number
  • So you’ll have something to put on your business card besides your name
  • So your past can find you
  • So your future can keep you honest with your past
  • So your friends can keep tabs on you
  • So you can fuel the jealousy flames of psycho ex-lovers who spy on your friends
  • So you can say, "yeah, just google ——- and it’s the first item on the results page."
  • So you can be passive aggressive
  • So you can communicate cryptically, sending secret love notes to loved ones
  • Gaining a new perspective from thoughtful comments
  • Learning about yourself
  • It’s an easy way to honor your promise to write every day
  • Now you have a record of it you can access from anywhere
  • To have an addiction to something other than food
  • To improve your writing, photography, and life
  • The anonymity and inherent comfort that comes with expressing yourself where you feel you might otherwise not be heard
  • Carving a voice for yourself
  • Having something you can call yours
  • Knowing the success and creation of it is all yours, something you built on your own, for yourself, and the happiness that comes with it is something no one can take away.