senseless

In ALL, LIFE OBSERVATIONS by Stephanie Klein8 Comments

“Did you meet the schniffer?”
“Oh, wow, he invented The Swiffer?”  I yelled to Amy over the din of Tao.
“No.  No.  He’s the sNiffer.  He sniffs women.”
“What?  Like a dog?”
“He literally won’t do a deal if he doesn’t like the way someone smells.”  I watch this man across the table as he speaks to a friend of a friend.  “He wouldn’t give Brad the green light with Louise until after he sniffed her.”

Oh my God. 

We’re at Toa for dinner, and we’re past several group “cheers” of champ-agne-in-the-ass.  I get to thinking I miss the hamptons, especially the click of huge plastic cups of wine in the middle of Whale’s Tales as a “SOCIAL!”  Okay, everyone else did beer.  That’s beside the point.  The sniffer is feeling good, gots his buzz on somethin’ fierce.  He’s feeling confident enough to begin to rub the foot of the woman beside him at dinner.  She permits him because it’s 11:11pm and her wishes aren’t coming true.  He leans in and lingers near her ear.  Observers are certain he’s going in for the inhale. Instead he says to her, “The key to a woman’s soul is in her shoes.”  Then his hand navigated up from the arch of her foot to the arch of her t-back thong. And she let him because, well, she wants more socials, more toasts, and more than she has now, even if it is with a man who uses the word "soul."   

Comments

  1. You're honoring your commitment to you. Doin' your thang as Randy Jackson would say. Yeah, I watched Idol with my boy, so shoot me. Point being, I love these written observations. Tks for sharing.

  2. "…more than she has now…"

    thank you for your ability to encapsulate a lifetime's worth of moments let pass in a single sentence.

    you're such a pleasure to read.

  3. Reading your observation in New York make me want to pack my shit and leave London for NYC. And I love London….

    Thanks for sharing your life Ms. Stef.

  4. A wise man that I work with once said, "there are no such things as competition for you. They are just mere obstacles in place that might slow you down or guide you along to a different path. However, they will never be able to hold back your talent." I think that saying definitely fits for Stephanie.

  5. about the man reading the penthouse in public: you said you have nothing against porn but a while back you complained about men spending 80$ for a hand-job and release. does not porn encourage and lead to hand-jobs? how can you be against hand-jobs and for porn? in any case i am against them both and men should try to stay away from them even though it causes a great deal of pain in resisting them.

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