My day was shite.
For once it had nothing to do with a sunny Sunday in Crapass Central. It had everything to do with a Saturday night of overreacting, chicking out as only I can, and obsessing for too long over things that in the long run just don’t matter. And the beautiful thing is, I was saved. I was feeling like crap, ready to suck on some Nyquil, spank the bottle until it was emptied clean. When I’m anxious, I don’t want to live through it; I want it to go away. Usually time helps, and I’d rather let it pass while I’m sleeping than sufferening through it. I just wanted to wake up the next day hoping to start fresh. But I didn’t have to medicate.
“Just meet me for coffee.” And I didn’t want to because I was set on a pity party, and my hair was a mess and there was no energy for eyeliner or mascara. I didn’t want to go there; I was too full of anxious to invite coffee into the system. “Fine, hot chocolate. Please just 15 minutes.” Coffee was around the corner; no bra or make up necessary.
“Okay, hot chocolate it is. I’ll see you in a half hour. ”
He’s the type of guy who will always offer to pick me up, despite our heading back in the direction from where he’d just come. I love that. Love. Then, being with him set me at ease immediately. Fuck it. I was beyond cocoa and ready for more. So we walked, and I never walk, but with him, I walk, holding his arm smiling. Unexpectedly, I was giddy, laughing, and telling stories into a night of another two bottles of wine, way too many appetizers, and even more stories and philosophies were shared.
His RPM amazes me, his ability to take me from a 2 to a 9 on the mood scale is no small task. And he did it in moments. At dinner, he said, “I like you. Period. And I don’t care if I put all my cards on the table and you never want to see me again. I’m putting it out there.”
And I responded, “That’s fcuking hot.”
And now, instead of waiting for time to pass, hoping some Nyquil will kick in, I’m looking forward to our next time together. I fell asleep smiling.