October 21, 2004
dating & mating
removed by author
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Oddly, this reminded me of the "drag queen" scene from Crocodile Dundee.
Strange how my mind works…
Listen, no man who tells you he HAS balls…actually has balls. But of course, you knew that.
Hey, maybe you should consider dating John McEnroe. Oh no…never mind, he'll beat you up (according to Tatum)…and, oh yes…he's already married to that one-hit "I am the Warrior" wonder woman.
You make me miss being single.
i was just thinking the same thing…
"I know you really want children, but I'm just not ready. And I know that makes you sad." That's balls.
"I know you want to get married, but I just don't love you enough… and it's selfish of me to stay in this relationship just because it's so comfortable for me." Big stones.
Knowing how to say, "no" without getting to "it's over!" is a man.
Or even better: "I know you want to have children, but I don't."
Now THAT'S tough. Knowing it's probably over the second you finish the sentence, but staying honest anyway.
Corinne, why? You miss grabbing bollix in a bar every now and again?
Correct me if I am wrong, but you want someone who will stand up for themselves and not constantly give in to you. Someone who knows what they want, what you want (which may be different), and will not settle because they know that it may not be right for them.
He will tell you the truth, whether it will hurt you or not. However, he will do it with respect and honesty. It would be in a way that a gentleman would do it, where you will respect him more for being truthful with you.
I finally know what you mean by this-
I was disappointed yesterday because He didn't tell me he'd be disappointing me.
If he'd just said, "Sorry, I won't be able to make it!" I would have been fine.
But he just plain didn't have the balls to call, or much less come and tell me.
And I hate boys.
OOH, it must be the red-heads trait. I never used to get feisty when I am drunk but I do now. And I mean wrestling on the floor and telling men that I'll kick their asses (not in a "I really will kick it" mean drunk way though). Feisty. And I had to laugh because I'm sitting here reading your blog, with a bit of a hangover, and a hell of a huge painful bruise on one knee because of my "feisty" last night which apparently resulted in some wrestling on concrete. I *wish* I just grabbed balls. ::sigh::
Kim…you're married. Ease up on the bar fights, for Chrissakes…
It seems that 'balls' (cohones, stones, step-children)…are being used as a metaphor for HONESTY. Maybe it's just that you (and all of us) are simply looking for, want and need honesty in relationships. Is that too much to ask? Fuck guys who cheat on their wives and document via email! Fuck women who make their husband have a huge-ass, 300 person wedding, then decide shortly thereafter that 'you're just not right for me anymore'!
Where were the balls before that happened? Where was the fucking honesty then?
Not that we're bitter. We're much better people for having lived through 'monday morning balls quarterback'
We need to be careful what we wish for…..we might just get it.
Better to have honesty now than resentment later because of the lack of honesty now.
I've noticed you've mentioned this "disappoint me" quality a couple times, can you elaborate on that, I don't quite get it. Is it something like he has the balls to tell you he's going to a baseball game his friend got tickets for last minute and has to cancel dinner plans because hey, this game is today and you'll still be around tomorrow, thus leaving you disappointed?
heh heh this post was awesome.
Ah ok I get it now. I can't see why people would say yes to having kids when they aren't ready or don't want them just to spare someone else's feelings. Wouldn't having the kids or marrying someone you don't want to be worse than hurting someone's feelings?
Steph, Kim, chelle…. the title of this was "figurative," but you three readheads are fessing up to some seriously LITERAL behavior!!
Guess I'm beginning to see what had Charlie Brown so mesmerized by the Little Redheaded Girl…
IS it a hair thing?? Maybe it is.
I had my feisty redheaded drunken moment a week ago tonight and ended up slapping the guy who left me alone with no good explanation at dinner on our date. I think I actually slapped him twice! But it's fuzzy…because like I said, I'd been a little to enthusiastic with the gin…
What is feisty anyway? It makes me think of the line from Network, "I'm sick and tired of it, and I'm not going to take it any more!"
Grabbing a guys balls ? Very feminine…NOT. Again, ..i repeat..don't let any male suitors of yours read your blog.
Was this a squeeze, like milking a cow tit, or a firm grasp type of feel, because a squeeze would of had me on the floor and not asking for more.
Yo. Balls? Marriage and children are two huge relationship issues. Don't think it takes balls to be honest about disagreeing. Just takes common sense. Any guy NOT willing to be honest about these issues is an asshole. Happy now? Disappointed?
Balls? Quitting your cushy big money Florida job, selling everything, moving to NY, ignoring mom's and friends advice, all for the chance of a permanent, loving relationship with the most special, incredible one-of-a-kind girl. That's balls. Or utter insanity. Agree?
This is all FICTION folks…
Guess what, if a male suitor of mine reads this and can't deal, then he's not the right guy for me. This is the best weed-whacker there is. It's better than the "is he polite to the waiter" test.
Wow…you have "male suitors."
A man who truly has balls realizes that he will never be ready for kids, but growing up means stepping up to the plate sometimes. The only other option is to admit that he will never be ready for kids. Option 2 speaks volumes about the man.
Growing up means stepping up to the plate ALL THE TIME.
But hey, admitting that one doesn't want children is fine too. No one gets hurt–especially the baby.
Ned, I beginning to think you may be missing the whole point. The way I see it is Stephanie is a woman who holds nothing back; she seems to be upfront and honest which IMO is a very admirable trait. She's knows what she wants and she doesn't want a guy who plays the dating game or says things just to spare her feelings. Also, if any man (or male suitors) reads her blog and gets disgusted, they can go and read something else! If they continue to visit, then they either are afraid admit they're hooked on her writing or they're idiots. Which leads me to believe that you must enjoy reading her blogs or you wouldn't take the time to make your negative comments… but, at least you're honest (I think).
Interesting post. I was married for 8 years and it finally ended because I finally had the "balls" to tell tell woman I loved dearly that I didn't want children. Was I selfish, yes, and obviously for too long. I don't feel like I had balls to to tell her that I couldn't do it, and to this day I am still very sad because of it. Oh Steph….I am sad.
you're a sick fucking pervert that whould be locked up for life, grabbing a person's genitals without their consent – it's sexual assault you sick motherfucka. ok so this guy might have liked, and some guy's might LOOK like they liked it – but how many guys are going to show their real feelings when too many freaks think it's funny to abuse guys? luckily it seems like you didn, from the fact he said to do it again, but you could have ended up destroying this guy's life, the same way a guy could end up destroying a woman's life if he sexually assaulted her. you're sick in the head, wanted to torture people by giving them nightmares and flashbacks and making them feel uncomfortable around women and destroying their lives by subjecting them to this trauma. http://www.safehaven-uk.org/aftermath/myths.shtml#10 (bottom paragraph) FREAK
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