You’ve got to wear black; I can do that. You’ve got to show up on time; okay, now you’re asking a lot. Though I can always get ready in that I-want-a-girl-that-doesn’t-take-forever-to-get-ready kinda way. Well, sorta. “Dinner in the Dark” at Suba on a Tuesday night enticed me like peacock feathers. For $90, I got a 5-course meal, unlimited wine, and a glass of champagne with my dessert…and I couldn’t see any of it.

In a well-lit lounge, I sat pecking away at my Sauvignon Blanc with my friend Chris until a voice sliced through the mingling with instructions. I was led to the windowless room downstairs (just after pleading with the host not to sit me beside the man who was hitting on me at the bar). Your eyes do not adjust. A phantom hand guides you to your seat, helping you feel where your water and wine glasses are. The wait staff wears night vision goggles. Oh yes, they really do. You can’t see anything. How wonderfully mysterious and delicious. I loved it.

Since I was a food critic for 4 years, I knew everything I was eating right down to the thyme. Roasted peppers, crepes, truffled potatoes, puff pastry, all scooped into my mouth with my hands. Doesn’t everything taste better in the dark, with your hands? I should eat this way more often.