lowering your (mother’s day) expectations

May 14, 2012

65 Comments

lowering your (mother’s day) expectations

All I really wanted for Mommy Day was a necklace made of plastic beads and macaroni, something I could wear with an evening gown to feel a little Overboard, a la Goldie Hawn. This want felt like it had grown…

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after consulting with a reproductive endocrinologist…

May 9, 2012

30 Comments

after consulting with a reproductive endocrinologist…

I’ve been talking to the universe (again). Alone in my car I’ll say, “So, universe, listen up.” Then I’ll continue, aloud, for a decent stretch, the way one would shoot the shit with a sister. Though I try to get…

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May 2, 2012

43 Comments

head between your knees health

I was in a parking lot this morning, head between my legs. I don’t actually think this is supposed to help with fainting, but I think I saw it on the Brady Bunch, or watched my mother do it at…

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April 26, 2012

9 Comments

mad men + racist girls

mad men + racist girls

MAD MEN
Obviously, I’m back on board with Mad Men, though this week’s past episode was smoking crack—or at least was tripping on Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Between Peggy giving a HJ to a stranger in a theater,…

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April 25, 2012

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hysteria

hysteria

I saw the film Hysteria with Maggie Gyllenhaal, Hugh Dancy, and a minor role for our adored Rupert Everett. It’s billed as “A romantic comedy based on the truth of how Mortimer Granville devised the invention of the first vibrator…

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April 24, 2012

5 Comments

breakfast + duck soup (recipe for disaster + love included)

breakfast + duck soup (recipe for disaster + love included)

I just ate breakfast soup, after eating breakfast. Today’s breakfast was pecked in serving order—between feeding the beans, I dug into small bites of Challah French toast Pudding, just a lick of syrup, packed lunches, just a handful of Pirate…

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April 19, 2012

22 Comments

lifetime, a lifetime ago

Last time I went to a Weight Watchers meeting was September 9, 2011. When I’d made Lifetime, my leader had me stand in front of the room, left hand up, as I repeated a sacred promise. You know, I, state…

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April 11, 2012

11 Comments

bless this mess

bless this mess

I beg your pardon. My site is going to be experiencing some down time as I straighten up. She’s taking a wee little break to keep things from breaking. Alcoholic Arnold Palmer cocktails will be involved. Speaking of which, has…

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